


Journey of Redemption

by ShadowRen



Series: Second Chances [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben & Zay friendship, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo is trying to cope what do you expect, F/M, Multi, Reckless Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, Soft Ben Solo, warning: there will be angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22559182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowRen/pseuds/ShadowRen
Summary: In exchange for his pardon from the New Republic, Ben Solo is placed under Rey's supervision and put to work in the Resistance. There, he meets the people he has wronged, who all have different opinions about having him in the Resistance.Despite the threat of execution or exile no longer looming over his head, Ben is still faced with conflicts, trauma, and enemies old and new.The road to redemption is long, but he'll get there someday.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Second Chances [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1619497
Comments: 20
Kudos: 32





	1. Welcome to Inferno Squad (Part 1)

**Author's Note:**

> Moodboard made by [ SuchaPrettyPoison ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuchaPrettyPoison/pseuds/SuchaPrettyPoison)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, my wild, wild idea that started off from an SNL prompt and turned into 'what if Ben Solo got to meet Zay Versio'. If you're just here for the Reylo, don't you worry there is plenty of that, but it can't always just be the two of them, right? They've got to interact with people someday. (Also it's just my excuse to have the Del Meeko/Iden Versio cloud car argument playing on repeat for research purposes, but I digress). 
> 
> Before you read this, I fully recommend first reading Disguises and Second Chances as it does set up events for this first chapter, though it should not majorly affect your understanding if you are to read it out of order or skip Disguises entirely.
> 
> Enjoy!

“So did Poe say anything about who I’m going to be assigned to?”

Ben shuffled further under the body of an X-wing starfighter, trying not to stick out like a sore thumb in the landing zone of the Resistance base on Ajan Kloss, and fidgeted with the hem of his brown leather Resistance flight jacket. He had worn it over a simple beige shirt and dark brown trousers bound by a wide black belt that had an extra loop to his right side for a holster. He left his shirt untucked, but the hems of his trousers had been tucked into his brown, calf-length boots. It was a uniform that Rey had hastily cobbled together for him from the Resistance storage, and Ben figured it didn’t look too bad on him.

Rey massaged the back of her neck, her lips curled down in a small frown. “No, I don’t think he did. And we’re _both_ assigned to this squad, Ben. The Republic wants you to stay under my watch at all times, remember?”

Ben smiled at that. That particular term of his sentence was just about the only thing he liked about those stuffy senators right now. “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said, leaning forward to press a kiss to Rey’s forehead.

“Great. I go from one smoochy pair to another smoochy pair. At least the last one gave me a good mission partner.”

Ben whipped around to find a blue-skinned Duros staring at them with his arms crossed. Behind him, a flat, sort of short cylindrical droid hovered close by, beeping in low-pitched binary. The Duros waved the droid away, but it returned to hover above his shoulder barely a second later. It took Ben a moment to recognise the Duros that had stood up beside Zay in the Resistance mess the day before, when he had revealed himself as Kylo Ren.

Ben stepped forward, extending his hand. “Ben Solo,” he introduced himself. It felt somewhat odd but also right, using his birth name again. A low hum of approval through his bond with Rey told him she agreed. The Duros simply accepted the handshake, though his wary look did not fade. Ben suspected he would have a long journey earning his trust.

“Shriv Suurgav, Inferno Squad. General Dameron told me about you. Not that he really needed to,” the Duros deadpanned. “Rey,” he called over Ben’s shoulder, “keep an eye on him for me, please. I respect General Organa’s wishes, but he’ll have to earn his own.”

“Uncle Shriv!”

Ben’s gaze wandered over the Duros’ shoulder at the familiar voice, as Zay jogged up to the three of them. As she got closer, Zay beamed when she recognised him.

“Not going by Randy anymore, are you?” she asked jokingly, which drew a sheepish grin from both Ben and Rey. “I’m Zay Versio, the other member of Inferno Squad. Welcome to the team.”

Ben let his relief flow into the Force. At least he knew someone on this squad who didn’t hate him.

“I’d welcome the Jedi,” Shriv muttered, “but I’ve still got my doubts about Kylo Ren.”

“He goes by Ben Solo now,” Rey asserted, before Ben could correct the Duros. “He’s not Kylo Ren, and won’t be for a long, long time.”

Rey’s scolding seemed unnecessary, however, as Zay took to glare at Shriv instead. “Uncle Shriv, be nice. What would mom have said?”

Ben watched with amusement as Shriv only sighed in reply and beckoned him and Rey to follow them. It wasn’t every day he could see a young girl tell off a stern-faced Duros. 

However, a familiar feeling of dread filled him as Zay mentioned her mother. Why did it bother him so much? He didn’t know anyone named Versio off the top of his head. Rey must have sensed his worry, because she laid a hand on his shoulder as they lagged behind the Inferno Squad duo. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” he replied, gently pulling her hand away as they continued walking. Rey narrowed her eyes in response, her other hand coming up for a hard grip of his. Disapproval resonated to him through their bond, and he sighed. He would have to get used to the fact that nothing would escape her attention as long as this bond between them remained.

“Just… something about Zay has been bothering me since we met yesterday. Every time she mentions her parents I get this feeling of dread. I don’t know why. I don’t know who they are,” he said. He could have been the one to kill them, and he had forgotten. He wasn’t sure if he liked or hated that. That he could forget people he killed. On one hand, it meant less torment as he lived out the rest of his life. On the other, it brought with that peace a sense of guilt for not at least honouring them.

Shriv’s voice interrupted his thoughts before he could stumble into his now all too familiar internal cycle of guilt and blame. “We’re here. This is the Corvus II, our base of operations and main transport for any mission that isn’t speed-oriented.”

Ben found himself faced with a corvette slightly smaller than the Tantive IV. The starship had a darker look compared to his mother’s ship, painted a dark blue and sporting a vertical hammerhead shape where he assumed the bridge would be. From there, the ship’s shape tapered into a thin cylindrical neck before widening horizontally to accommodate its thrusters. It was a ship he knew the Resistance could ill afford to simply assign to a single squad of two people, especially after what the First Order did to them on D’Qar and Crait under his command. “How did you get this ship?”

“General Dameron assigned it to us after the Republic gave it to the Resistance as a gift after the fight on Exegol,” Zay answered. “We were part of the recruiting team after what happened on D’Qar, and nowadays we mostly continue the Republic relations front.”

Ben bit back a grimace. Dameron had assigned him to a diplomatic squad that would put him right in front of the stuffy Republic senators, pushing him right out of his comfort zone. He supposed it was a small price for his pardon, and molded what he hoped was a smile onto his face. “So what’s our mission?”

The ramp of the corvette lowered as Shriv spoke. “We’re escorting a few of the ships that joined us on Exegol back to Coruscant. General Dameron said it was just for safety precautions. Can’t be too careful with even a remnant fleet. The Empire continued operating for a good while past the Battle of Endor. I won’t put it past the First Order to survive for even longer.”

Shriv added the last sentence with a pointed look at Ben. The former Supreme Leader nodded, and silently followed the Duros onto the Corvus. Passing a few doors, Shriv stopped at a moderately-sized lounge, presumably for the Corvus’ crew. A turbolift was set against the wall to Ben’s right, while another doorway stood ahead of him. If this ship was anything like the Tantive IV, Ben would bet it was crew cabins they had passed, with more beyond that door. The lounge itself had a simplistic design, the light grey walls complimenting the dark brown couches. He also noted a few plants along the curved walls, as did Rey. His bondmate seemed fascinated by the greenery, and Ben made a mental note to get her a small plant to care for someday, when they could settle down.

He shook that last sentence out of his head, feeling heat rush to his cheeks. It was a nice thought, but it would have to wait. There was work to be done.

“Rey, I need you with me on the bridge. Uh… Ren— Solo, whatever it is you go by now, I think it would be best if you stayed here. Don’t want to freak out the Coruscanti senators,” Shriv said, making a sweeping gesture to indicate the lounge they were in, before turning to their last companion. “Zay, you stay here too. Keep an eye on him.”

Ben could not resist his next comment, given all the Duros’ mistrust towards him. “You’re not worried leaving your niece here with me?” Rey shot him a withering look at his words, while Shriv merely shrugged.

“She can take care of herself,” he answered. “Underestimate her at your own peril.”

With that, Shriv entered the turbolift, Rey following close behind. Soon, only Ben and Zay remained in the room, and he gestured towards one of the couches. “Take a seat, I guess.”

Zay smiled reassuringly at him, taking the offered couch, while Ben settled into a one-seater armchair opposite her. “Don’t mind Uncle Shriv. He always seems a little prickly at first. He’ll warm up to you eventually.”

“I won’t be surprised if he didn’t,” Ben muttered.

“He was the same way with my parents, you know. Dad always told me about it.” Zay’s young face had a wistful look, recalling fond memories. “My parents were Imperials who defected to the Rebellion. Not so different from you. It wouldn’t be fair if I loved my parents but hated the idea of you joining the Resistance.”

There it was again. That sinking feeling at the mention of her parents. “Who were your parents?”

“Del Meeko and Iden Versio.”

It all came to him then. Pillio. The Imperial Raider. The old man with the information on Lor San Tekka. His mind, his memories. Iden Versio. Their daughter.

Ben slumped forward, his head in his hands. He heard scuffing as Zay hastily got out of her chair, immediately by his side. “What’s wrong, Ben?”

Ben. She had only heard the name once, and she was already calling him by it. She was the only person other than Rey or Lando who had offered him such kindness and warmth, and _this_ was how he repaid her? How long before he could even start to atone for everything he had done? “I’m sorry,” slipped out of his mouth, becoming a stream. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He remembered now. After he had obtained the information on Lor San Tekka he wanted, he gave the old man, _Zay’s father_ , to one of his men. That must have been their former Imperial teammate.

He looked up at Zay’s worried face, and guilt washed anew over his conscience. He would never deserve this, and she would despise him as the Duros did. “I met your father, Zay,” he began. “I was looking for information on a man named Lor San Tekka, and he had it. He had been captured on Pillio. I… interrogated him. Probed into his mind with the Force. I tore it apart, tore into his conscience like a ragdoll, and then… and then I surrendered him to one of my men to do as he wished with your father.” Ben felt his chest constrict painfully, the air tearing away from him in painful, ragged breaths. “He must have been the Imperial soldier that killed them… I’m sorry.”

He tore his gaze away to avoid the inevitable shock and disgust that would cross Zay’s face, and found instead the sensation of hands firmly grasping his shoulders. He looked again to see Zay staring directly into his eyes, the young girl’s own glistening with tears. This girl, younger than Rey, had her parents taken away from her, and it was his fault.

“Listen to me, Ben Solo,” she said, holding back her tears. “The man who killed my parents was named Gideon Hask. You, Ben Solo or Kylo Ren, had nothing to do with it.”

“But I brought him to your father—”

“Whether you brought Hask there or not wouldn’t have mattered,” Zay asserted. “I met him. I saw him give my mother the wound that killed her. He tried to kill me. Shot down the ship we considered home. He was bent on revenge towards my parents. Whether you were there or not when he killed Dad had nothing to do with it.”

Before Ben could argue further, the turbolift door whooshed open and Rey dashed out immediately to his side. Only upon seeing her face did Ben realise the grief and despair flowing back and forth through him. He had left the bond open, and Rey must have taken a direct hit of his chaotic emotions up on the bridge. “I’m alright, Rey,” he assured her. “I’m sorry I worried you.”

“What happened?” she asked. Ben looked at Zay, who _somehow_ still had that calm look about her face. He had just told her that he had basically all but killed her father and she seemed to shrug it off like it was nothing. He could not even stop hating _himself_ over a year after killing his father. 

“I… I killed him,” Ben said. “I killed Zay’s father.” He tore his eyes away, squeezing them shut and trying not to sob, to cry out in anger at himself. “I tortured him, tore apart his mind and I surrendered him to be slaughtered, how can you still tell me it wasn’t my fault?”

Even faced away from her, Ben could hear the firmness in Zay’s voice. “Because it wasn’t. Nothing would have stopped Hask back then, and you are no longer Kylo Ren. You are Ben Solo, a member of the Resistance, and my friend.”

“She’s right,” Rey added, gently turning Ben’s face towards hers. “That’s why you’re here, right? To make amends.”

Ben’s chest continued to heave, but more slowly as Rey sent calming waves through their bond. She was right. He was not here for nothing. He knew what he had to do.

A crackling sound made all three of them look up at Zay, specifically the wristcomm she was wearing. Shriv’s voice came through a second later.

“Zay! Get two devices from the comms shelf in the lounge, give them to Rey and Ky— Solo, and patch them to me quickly! We’ve got company.”

The young woman dashed for a small box on the side of the turbolift and snatched two wristcomms from its contents, patching both to the Corvus command centre as she returned to Rey and Ben. Ben accepted his wrist comm, and attached it to his left wrist. As he did so, Zay spoke into hers, “What’s the situation like, Uncle Shriv?”

“First Order TIE fighters, some light cruisers and a Star Destroyer. Resurgent-class, by the looks of it,” Shriv reported, his voice now emitting from all three of their communications devices. “Get them on our A-wings, we need all the help we can get. I’ll stay on bridge.”

“I’ve never flown an A-wing before,” Ben noted. Not that he wanted to escape battle, but a flash of doubt spiked through him at his inexperience.

Shriv made his annoyance clear through the comms. “You’ll figure it out. Can’t be too different from a TIE fighter, especially for the great Supreme Leader of the First Order. I don’t think Rey’s flown one either and _she’s_ not complaining.”

Before things could escalate further, Ben felt a firm push behind him from Zay, who quickly led them to the small starfighter hangar on the level above. Sure enough, three A-wing fighters painted the same dark blue as the Corvus II. Each of them boarded a starfighter, and Ben heard Zay’s voice through the ship’s communications array as he closed the cockpit entrance above him, “Uncle Shriv, we’re clear for takeoff.”

“Copy that,” came the reply, and the hangar door opened. “TIE fighters inbound!”

Ben quickly found the ignition lever, his ship zooming out close behind Zay’s and Rey’s A-wings. Ben was immediately forced to swerve aside as a TIE fighter shot at him. He spent the next few seconds finding different controls and barely avoiding starfighter fire, before getting his bearings and fully entering the fray. Before long, he had rejoined the others, and Shriv’s voice fizzed through his comms.

“Alright. The Coruscanti group can handle their own against the cruisers, but that Star Destroyer’s gonna be a problem. I’ll need to get an ion shot right onto its engines, but first I need to actually get behind that big ship. Inferno Three, don’t forget you’re shooting TIE fighters now.”

“Uncle Shriv!”

“No, Zay, it’s fine,” Ben assured her, before addressing the Duros. “Advice acknowledged, Corvus.”

The line clicked in response and went silent. Ben returned his attention to survey the battlefield in front of him. Flicking a few levers on the controls, he brought up the A-wing’s targeting displays and set to work. The Force flowed through him as he weaved the block of metal through an ever-moving net of lasers, sending a few of his own towards the black First Order TIE fighters. A flick of another lever produced a beeping noise on his displays, followed by the whoosh and smoke trail of a missile from the A-wing tracking the flight of its target enemy fighter. Between him, Rey and Zay, they easily kept the First Order pilots at bay as the Hammerhead corvette made its way along the length of the giant Star Destroyer.

“Nice shooting!” Shriv’s voice beeped through the comms. “Maybe you’re not so bad after all, Solo.”

Ben happily noted the Inferno Squad leader’s first use of his name without reference to his old self. “Star Destroyer’s shields are still up,” he communicated through the system. “You can’t just shoot at the engines yet.”

“It’s their backup shield,” came the reply from Zay. “The Coruscant group’s been working on disabling the shield relays.”

Sure enough, the translucent green layer covering the battlecruiser soon dissipated, leaving it open for attack.

“Firing ion shot!”

A flash of crackling white energy dashed past Ben’s field of vision, aimed straight at the rear engine thrusters of the Star Destroyer. Suddenly, just before it could hit the engines, the translucent green shields enveloped the starship again, stopping the ion shot dead in its tracks.

“Impossible!” Shriv growled through the comms. “That was their backup shield!”

“More TIEs inbound!” Rey warned, and Ben dived back into the fray.

A few minutes later, the Coruscanti fighters disabled the shields again, and this time two of their cruisers fired ion shots along with Shriv’s towards the Star Destroyer. Once again, the shields reactivated at the last second, rendering all three shots useless.

“They must be cycling the shields somehow,” Ben observed. “It’s not a manoeuvre we usually manage to pull off, Resistance or First Order.”

“But that means none of our lasers can punch through,” came Rey’s voice through the comms. “We don’t have the time or the ships to be running hundreds of hit and runs with only small starfighters.”

“We’ll get shot down first,” Ben acknowledged, “which is why we need to disable the shields from the inside.”

“Oh great, you’re just like Iden,” Shriv complained. “Crazy ideas all round. Can’t I get a normal squadmate for once?” Silence filled Ben’s ship for all of five seconds. “Actually I take that back, Zay’s alright. But _you’re_ still crazy.”

Despite himself, Ben started laughing, not even bothering to disable comms in case they heard him. He liked the feeling. Free, unburdened, simply enjoying the moment, even if he was in the middle of a space fight and probably about to hijack a Star Destroyer with an A-wing. His heart felt lighter than it had in decades. No more Snoke, no more Vader, no more Palpatine, just laughter and joy. He never wanted that feeling to end.

A prod in the Force broke his reverie, amusement and happiness flowing through the bond. Rey agreed.

“Yep, definitely crazy,” Shriv quipped through the comms, “but it’s all we’ve got right now.”

“We can use the heat sink next to the engines,” Zay offered. “If we manage to position close enough to it we can blast through and sneak in when the shields go down next.”

The comms crackled again, and Shriv’s voice hastened to make his statement. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. _We_? Nuh uh, Zay. You’re coming back to the Corvus.”

“Shriv’s right, Zay,” Rey supported. “Ben and I can move through the Star Destroyer faster with the Force. We don’t want to end up leaving you behind. Ben knows his way around this model of Star Destroyer, and I can keep up with him.”

“But he doesn’t have access codes,” Zay cut in without hesitation. “You need a droid to slice through the security systems. Dio’s our only droid, and he’s with me.”

Ben’s own protest died in his throat. Zay was right, neither he nor Rey had any sort of system hacking ability, and burning holes in a Star Destroyer’s blast doors would take time the Coruscant fleet did not have. An audible growl from his comm system told him that Shriv came to the same conclusion.

“Fine,” growled the Duros. “Take Dio and join ‘em in the Destroyer. Solo! You better take good care of Zay for me, you hear? She’s my favourite niece.”

“I’m your only niece, Uncle Shriv.”

“Same thing. Now get into position. I’ll coordinate the shield strike with the Coruscant ships and relay the timing to you.”

“Thanks, Shriv,” Rey called over the system. “We’ll make it count.”

“You better.”

Ben led the way to close in on the rear end of the Star Destroyer, though they were forced to blast a few extra TIE fighters on the way there. Sure enough, he could see a panel there, almost unnoticeable tucked close to the thrusters. “I’ve got visual contact on the heat sink,” he relayed. “Moving into position.”

Two seconds later, Shriv’s voice popped back through the comms. “Attacking shield systems now. Get ready.”

“TIE fighter inbound!”

The warning came a second too late as Ben lurched in his seat. His vision spun, and it took him a second to realise his entire ship was spiralling out of control. The laser must have hit the tip of his wing with enough power at an angle to disrupt its balance. He yanked at his steering gear as deafening beeps united one after another in a cacophony of alarms, hoping to bring the A-wing into some semblance of control. It took him two seconds to realise that his accelerator still worked as he felt his back press into his pilot’s seat from the inertia.

“Zay!” he barked into his comms. “Once the shields are down, blast the heat sink open, then both of you fly in quickly. I’m going to accelerate and lurch my ship in.”

“Ben!” Rey sounded worried, but her physical voice was reassuring. It meant his comm system still functioned.

 _I’ll live_ , Ben reassured her through the bond, before he barked into the comm. “Zay!”

“Copy that, Ben,” came the answer.

“Shields are down!”

Ben held his breath, his knuckles white from the effort of keeping his starfighter in some semblance of translational equilibrium.

“We’re in!”

Ben stomped his foot onto the accelerator, simultaneously covering his body with the Force as he braced for impact. Even then, the impact shook him to the core as he felt himself thrown about like a ragdoll. Smaller impacts rang throughout his body as he rolled, perhaps debris from his crashing ship colliding with the improvised Force shield. Finally, the spinning stopped, and Ben released the breath he had been holding, slowly opening his eyes.

His surroundings were made of dark metal tinged with blue light. The hyperdrive. He’d made it.

Ben sat up slowly, groaning as he stretched, extending his limbs from their Force blanket. He wasn’t entirely unscathed, some of the debris had managed to scratch him, and one wound on his left arm a little deeper than he would have liked. He felt sore all over, too, but that was a better alternative to broken bones. 

He had become so inwardly focused that he failed to notice Rey running towards him until she was right by his side and launching into a furious tirade that he immediately tuned out. Something soft wrapped around his arm, and Ben’s eyes finally came into focus on Rey’s armcloth wrapped like a bandage around the worst of his wounds. Trailing further upwards, Ben spotted a scar on her arm he had not seen before, but just as he was about to study it closer his head lurched involuntarily from the force of Rey’s slap.

“Don’t you ever do that again, Ben Solo!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t heal you on that moon or after Exegol just so you could crash your ship into a wall like it’s a kriffing porg!”

“I know,” Ben soothed her, both with his voice and through their bond. “I know. I’m sorry. You can scold me all you want later, but for now we have a job to do.”

“Yeah, we do,” Rey agreed, helping him stand up. “But when we get back to Ajan Kloss you are in for a world of trouble, Ben Solo.”

“I’m counting on it,” Ben replied. “Where’s Zay?”

Rey pointed further into the hyperdrive room, where Ben saw Zay waving at them.

“That was the coolest recovery I’ve ever seen,” she said excitedly once Ben and Rey joined her. Ben narrowed his eyes at the young girl.

“Do not, Zay, and I repeat, do _not_ try that, ever,” he warned. “Force users only, and even then at great risk. Rey will drill me into the ground when we get back.”

Zay snickered at that, and Ben was painfully reminded that she was still a girl, one who had gone through too much for her age.

“Alright, Ben, I won’t,” Zay said, raising her right hand in a pledge. “So, how are we gonna do this?”

“The Resurgent-class Star Destroyer is a big ship with plenty of weapons,” Ben explained. “We need to find a room with detonators, load up on them, then find the generator room and blow up. Once that’s done, we need to secure three TIE fighters to make our escape.”

“There’s going to be a lot of stormtroopers on a ship like this,” Zay noted. “Are you going to deflect their blaster bolts with lightsabers?”

Rey summoned the Skywalker lightsaber from her belt, igniting its blue blade. When Ben didn’t move, Rey shot him a glance, returning his grandfather’s lightsaber to her belt. “Ben? Where’s Leia’s lightsaber?”

He glanced at Rey, then Zay, then back to Rey, before pulling a standard Resistance Glie-44 blaster pistol from the holster on his belt.

“I… may have left it back at base.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben's Force blanket was a thing in Star Wars Legends, when Darth Bane used it to shield himself from his own crashing ship in the Darth Bane trilogy of novels, though Ben admittedly got much luckier than Bane did when it came to post-crash injuries.
> 
> For those who are familiar with the storyline of Battlefront 2 (2017), the Corvus II used by Inferno Squad here is a Sphyrna-class corvette, also known as a Hammerhead corvette. I just didn't think there would be many Imperial Raider II corvettes left in the galaxy, and certainly not one that would have been given to the Resistance. As I am unable to find a floor plan for the Hammerhead, I've modified the floor plan of the Tantive IV, a CR90 corvette, for the Corvus II to be used throughout The Adventures of Inferno Squad.


	2. Welcome to Inferno Squad (Part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your support and comments on Disguises and on the first chapter of this fic! I have been having a lot of fun plotting and writing these chapters and I hope it shows.
> 
> Now, enjoy part two of our opener!

“Why would you leave your mother’s lightsaber behind?!”

Ben bit his lower lip as Rey half-yelled at him. “Quiet down, you’ll alert the stormtroopers on this ship,” he said. “I left it behind because I’m not ready to use it. Holding a lightsaber makes me feel like… like _him_.”

Rey faltered, and the feeling of regret spiked through the bond. He sent soothing tones back in reply. “I’ll be ready eventually, Rey. Just… not right now.”

“If you’re both done arguing,” Zay called to them from a few paces away, “we need to get a move on. Those shield generators won’t blow up on their own.”

Ben placed a hand on Rey’s shoulder to reassure her that he was alright, and they both jogged up to their younger squadmate. Zay ran up to the door connecting the hyperdrive room to the hallways, pressing her back to the wall as she peered in.

“There should be at least one armoury along every hallway,” Ben recalled. “Some of the larger ones should hold the detonators we need to blow up the shield generators.”

Zay nodded. “I came to a Star Destroyer just like this one last year, when mom and Hask killed each other,” she said. “I think I remember where the large armoury is.”

“Then you remember more than me.” Ben hardly ever paid attention to everyday life on his starship when he ruled as Supreme Leader aboard the Finalizer and the Steadfast, let alone bother to remember where the stormtroopers got their blasters. He somewhat regretted it now, though he was glad that part of his life was now behind him. Mostly. “Lead the way.”

The three intruders snuck into the hallway, treading as quietly as they could for boots upon metal flooring. Ben had to pull Zay back under cover behind some cargo boxes as a pair of stormtroopers passed by on patrol. They seemed none the wiser as they marched past, deep in conversation with each other.

“Those intruders have got to be around here somewhere. Why are we the only ones checking the entry point?”

“The commander thinks they’re after the shield generators. Everybody else is stationed there. We’re here because we’re the expendable shinies.”

“We’ll show them expendable. Once we find these rebels, we’ll blast them into the walls and get our early promotions.”

Ben glanced at Rey, hidden behind more boxes just across from him. Your go.

He watched as Rey slowly stood up behind the pair, waving her hand in a slow, sweeping motion. “You will leave this hallway and report the all clear to your commander.”

The stormtroopers stilled, their backs still facing the trio. “We will leave this hallway and report the all clear to our commander.”

Rey then quickly ducked back behind the containers as the stormtroopers turned around and marched back the way they came. “They’re looking for us. We won’t have much time.”

Once the stormtroopers left the hallway, Ben darted down the opposite part of the junction with Rey and Zay close behind. The next two hallways yielded only the smaller armouries, though Ben picked up a riot control baton from the first one. If he was going to sneak around, he figured, best to have a quieter weapon than a pistol. 

The third hallway had a room with a much larger door, sealed behind a passcoded panel. Ben did not recall even large armouries having access control panels, but his memory had proven quite useless as of late. “Zay, can you get your droid to slice this?”

“You’re up, Dio,” Zay murmured, and the ID10 seeker droid dislodged itself from the port strapped to her back. It whirred softly as it flew to the slicer terminal, and seconds later the panel’s light flashed green.

A quick scan of the room told Ben it was empty, devoid of sentient beings. Only one cleaner droid scooted across the floor among roughly a dozen computer terminals. Transparisteel windows on the opposite wall showed a vast room with a cylindrical machine in the centre glowing bright blue. The hyperdrive control, he realised. There were also no weapon racks on the walls or against the computers, which meant it was not the large armoury they were looking for.

“This must be some sort of surveillance or analysis room,” he surmised. “Come on, we’ll check the next hallway.”

“Wait,” Zay called to them. “Check the computers. Maybe they’ve got info about whoever’s leading this fleet.”

“Good idea,” Rey agreed. “TIE fighters, corvettes and a Star Destroyer. This can’t just be some ragtag group. It’s too organised.”

Ben nodded, and skimmed through the data displayed on the computers. To his surprise, nothing came up other than generic information about the Star Destroyer itself and the complement fleet of corvettes and TIE fighters. “There’s nothing here.”

At a computer against one of the walls, Ben saw Zay furrow her brow in confusion. “Nothing on this computer, either.”

“And none on mine,” Rey reported, letting her fist thump on the controls. “Whoever’s in charge, they’ve thought of everything.”

A horrifying thought crossed Ben’s mind. “Do you think Palpatine could still be behind this?”

“The Emperor?” asked Zay. “I wouldn’t put it past him. Mom told me he had a plan called Operation: Cinder planned in the event that he died, which she became a part of after the Battle of Endor until she defected and joined the Rebellion. What’s the bet he’ll do it again?”

Ben cursed under his breath. Would that pruned spectre actually die for once and let everybody live their lives in peace? “Zay, get Dio to download everything on these computers, encrypted or not, whatever he can find. We’ll bring it back to the Resistance and dig through the files. After that, go to the hangars and find us all a ride out of here. Rey, go with her. I’ll find the detonators, blow up the shield generators, and regroup with you.”

“Ben, no. You can’t just go off alone, we just talked about you risking your life needlessly,” Rey protested, grabbing his arm. 

Ben pulled away gently. “I have to. Zay can’t be left alone against dozens of stormtroopers armed with only a sniper,” he persuaded. “I’ve got the Solo aim, and even as bad as it is, I know my way around the ship better than you do. Go with Zay. I won’t take long, and I’ll be careful.”

Knowing she would try to argue, Ben denied Rey her chance as he quickly turned and dashed out of the analysis room.

_Ben!_

He ignored her calling to him through their bond, much as it pained him to do so, and focused on the task at hand. The sooner he finished this, the sooner he could get back to Rey. He let the Force flow through him, giving him a burst of energy to sprint down the hallway. Occasionally, he paused and crouched behind nearby boxes to let stormtrooper patrols pass by.

“Sector seems clear.”

“Keep searching. The commander said they’re still on board.”

Ben frowned when he heard the trooper’s report. That pair of stormtroopers should have given their false information to the ship’s commander by now. Did Rey’s mind trick fail? Impossible, he thought, a non-Force-sensitive human mind should not have that much resistance towards it, especially when Rey seemed to be a natural at the Force ability otherwise.

As he continued slowly down the hallway, he focused the energy of the Force to his ears, enhancing his hearing, and listened carefully to every conversation he could pick up from the First Order soldiers. Each patrolling group he passed by only caused him more distress as they often mentioned the ship’s commander, but never by name. Ignorant as he was of his men, he knew for a fact that there was rarely ever just one commander in contact with a Star Destroyer at any one time, and soldiers of the First Order thus frequently added their commanders’ names after their ranks. The unusual situation made Ben uncomfortable, prioritising stealth more and more.

“All clear. Report to the commander.”

Again! Ben almost screamed in frustration. The one time stormtroopers decide to be ingenious without turning traitor to the First Order, _he’s_ the one on the other side of the war.

The stormtroopers he was eavesdropping on abruptly turned towards him and the supply crate he was hiding behind, and Ben immediately tensed. Had he said that out loud? He was very sure he hadn’t, and quickly glanced around him to see if there were any potential noise makers around him, but found none. He tightened his grip on the riot baton in his left hand, and flicked off the safety on the pistol in his right. 

“Check that crate.”

Hissing a curse under his breath, Ben launched himself back against the wall, firing five shots in quick succession as he used the momentum to get to his feet. Each blaster bolt hit the troopers right between the eyes of their helmets, the sheer force sending their lifeless bodies sprawling to the ground. Two troopers remained, and these he clobbered over the head with the riot baton he had been holding. He spotted more movement from the corner of his vision; white armour dashing away, no doubt to sound the alarm.

Two seconds later, alarms blared, loud and painful against his ears. 

“Alert! Intruders have been detected near the control room. All units, converge on the control room and shield generators!”

Ben took a deep breath, letting the pain and frustration ebb away into the Force the way he had been taught so many years ago, and sprinted down the next hallway in search of the detonators.

As if the galaxy was mocking him, Ben found the large armoury as soon as he turned into the next hallway. Dropping the riot baton to free up his hand, he grabbed five detonators and tossed them into the pouch attached to his belt. The added weight shifted his centre of gravity slightly to the right, and Ben was now slightly more averse to dives and rolls, lest he drop one and activate it on himself.

 _Ben! You said you would be careful!_ Rey’s voice popped into his head with a frantic volume rivalling that of the alarms blaring all around him.

 _I was! It doesn’t help that some of these stormtroopers seem to be Force-sensitive!_ Ben shot back through the bond.

_And now you’re going to charge into a room full of them?_

_Do I have a choice? We need these shields down to save the Coruscanti fleet outside. Have you and Zay found a ship yet?_

_No. Dio’s only just gotten all the files downloaded, and the number of stormtroopers down here’s increased._

Only when Rey mentioned it did Ben realise he had encountered increasing numbers of stormtroopers with each hallway he went down. Were they being watched? If so, why had the alarm only been triggered now? So many questions running through his head, and not nearly enough answers.

Ben wrenched himself away from that thought and back to the task at hand. Peering around the corner of the hallway junction, he spotted a large blast door similar to the one at the analysis room. This one, however, was guarded by five stormtroopers, and groups of three walked to and fro along the hallway. One of those groups was fast approaching his position, and he wondered if he had really made a mistake leaving his mother’s lightsaber back on Ajan Kloss.

There was no time to mourn his stupidity. The stormtroopers were ten paces away. He would have to take down the entire hallway in record time.

Five paces. Ben channelled the Force to his left hand, his right holding his pistol at the ready.

Two paces. One deep breath.

One pace.

Ben pivoted on his left foot, simultaneously unleashing a mighty push with the Force down the hallway. All but a few troopers at the hallway’s other end were knocked clear off their feet, and Ben immediately shot any remaining survivors as he made a mad dash for the blast door. With no droid available to slice the door controls, Ben opted for shooting the panel instead, causing more alarms to activate and blend into the already deafening cacophony.

Only a flash of precognition from the Force saved him as the door opened to a storm of blaster fire. Ben immediately darted aside, breathing heavily from exertion. How in kriff did his father ever survive all this madness without the Force?

A solution to his predicament came to mind, a recollection of the time he had managed to freeze that blaster bolt on Jakku. It brought unpleasant memories, just like the one that made him leave his mother’s lightsaber, but if he could use it now on a larger scale…

He shook the thought away. Even if he could freeze more blaster bolts, the stormtroopers inside would simply fire more. Try as he might, he doubted he could freeze an entire room of troopers along with their blaster bolts. The rationalisation brought him relief. He did not have to face his past directly. Not yet.

But the problem remained. He had to get into the room and set off the detonators, but he could not get in as long as the threat of the blasters loomed only meters from his vulnerable flesh. Any further trains of thought were overwhelmed by the blaring alarms, and that incessant, irregular hum was really starting to get on his nerves.

Wait. Hum?

Blue light flashed past his eyes as Rey darted into the line of fire, deflecting every shot back at the stormtroopers in the shield generator room.

“Rey, what are you doing here?!” Ben shouted over the alarms as he followed her inside.

Rey kept his family’s lightsaber at the ready, guard up in case there were any stormtroopers still in hiding. “Rescuing you from your own stupidity. I don’t know where you got it from.”

“You left Zay alone?!”

“Your stunt diverted all the stormtroopers from the hangar, and Zay is an excellent shot,” Rey explained, her gaze falling to the pouch at his belt. “Now get those detonators primed, unless you want Zay to stay there longer without either of us there.”

Ben nodded, setting the detonators onto the hexagonal prismic machine crackling with energy. “Let’s go.”

———————————————————————————————

Five minutes later, Ben watched from the cramped back space of their shared TIE fighter as an explosion ripped through the side of the Star Destroyer, followed by an even larger explosion on its bridge as Resistance missiles and lasers finally hit their target past the disabled shields. For reasons unknown to him, Zay ended up being the starfighter’s pilot, while Ben and Rey attempted to manage the problem that was his tall and bulky frame filling any remaining space behind the pilot’s seat.

Ben shuffled slightly, moving Rey’s head aside so her skull would stop pressing painfully against his chin. Zay’s seeker droid hovered close to the entry hatch on the ceiling of the starfighter, avoiding the squeeze entirely. Sensing his discomfort, Rey tried to reduce her own fidgeting as she tried to find her own.

Ben turned his head at the sound of clicking, as Zay patched the TIE fighter’s communications to the Corvus.

“Uncle Shriv?” she tried once the static sound of contact buzzed through the cockpit. “It’s Zay. We’re in a TIE fighter. Mission accomplished.”

An audible sigh of relief came through the comms. “Zay. Thank goodness you’re alright. I wouldn’t know how to explain it to your parents if I let you die just like that.” A pause, then. “Is Rey and… Solo with you?”

“Yeah,” Ben replied. The pain in his right thigh subsided as Rey lifted her weight off it, settling instead for a hunched position against the curved wall of the TIE fighter cockpit. “It’s a bit of a tight fit, but we’re all safe and sound.”

Another pause, then, “Good to hear. Great job out there, you saved a lot of lives today.”

“Never enough,” Ben commented wryly, but he felt the truth in his words.

“You know, I was harsh on you when we met. Supreme Leader of the First Order and all that,” Shriv’s voice drifted through the starfighter’s comms. “I never gave you a proper greeting.”

Zay shot Ben a grin, while Rey pressed her hand on his shoulder. Ben felt lighter again, as if another fraction of the darkness in him was being peeled away in the light he now basked in, from Rey and from his new… teammates? Friends? Could he call them his friends? He felt like he could.

“Ben Solo, welcome to Inferno Squad.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something is lurking...


	3. Cracked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a Twitter up and running! @ShadowRenWrites to get the latest updates on new chapters and works, plus maybe some additional random thoughts throughout the day.
> 
> Thanks to my fellow Reylo writers and sprinters at The Writing Den. Writing is made much more fun with you guys around.
> 
> Last but certainly not least, thank you all for commenting and leaving kudos on this fic! Your encouragement keeps me going despite all the plot holes and frantic Googling I run into.
> 
> But now, before you continue, fair warning: You are treading into heavy angst territory.

“What do you mean there were no plans?”

Ben rubbed his forehead in exasperation. He hated being confused, but that was all he had been feeling since the escort mission in Coruscanti space. “Exactly what I said. No plans. Just the basic maps and schematics of a standard Star Destroyer.”

The traitor — Finn! — seemed just as confused as he was. He supposed that was to be expected, being a former stormtrooper and all. “But a whole fleet of ships with apparently the best shield mechanic in the galaxy?” asked the now General of the Resistance. “There’s no way this wasn’t planned.”

“And we’re all of the same mind on that front,” Rey agreed from her post standing beside Ben. The three of them stood around a holotable, which displayed the Star Destroyer plans the Resistance had downloaded from Dio’s memory banks. “There really wasn’t anything encrypted in there?”

“Nothing.” Ben turned his head to look behind him, spotting a petite woman bent over the input terminals of one of the nearby computers. “Kylo — I mean, Ben. Do you think any of the First Order generals would have made a plan like this with the entire fleet in the dark about it?”

Ben thought it through. He quickly realised that he did not know any of his former subordinates well. “I suppose Allegiant General Pryde could have done it—”

Finn shook his head before Ben had even finished. “Blasted off Steadfast’s bridge back on Exegol,” he said, and Ben returned to his thoughts.

It did not take Ben long to remember that he _did_ know one very well. In fact, all the secrecy screamed his name behind it. “Hux,” he suggested. “It’s got to be Hux. I know he’s done things like this before.” Irritation seeped into him faster than he could release it into the Force at how much of a thorn the ginger-haired Arkanisian general had been. “All the secrecy.”

“Ben, calm down,” Rey warned, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“It can’t be him either,” the earlier woman said, causing Ben’s attention to snap back towards her in surprise. “He… did no one tell you? Hux was the Resistance spy.”

The former Supreme Leader’s eyebrows shot all the way up to his hairline. He knew Hux hated him, but to betray the First Order?

“Rose is right,” Finn nodded at her. “I’m about as surprised as you look right now, but he saved our asses back when we went to get Chewie. Rescued us from a blaster execution and everything.”

“And your saviour is not present in the base?” Ben asked. “I thought you Resistance folk were all about saving even the bad guys.” He glanced at Rey, and a small smile crept to his lips. “Not that I’m in a position to complain about that.”

FN-2187 — Kriffing Force, his name’s Finn! — arched an eyebrow, but replied anyway. “Well, you’re not entirely wrong about us. We did try, but he pushed it away and decided to stay on the Steadfast. In the end, his posh wedge ship blew up on Exegol.”

Beside him, Ben heard Rey stifle her laughter at ‘posh wedge ship’. He didn’t blame her.

“You never know, though,” he mused. “Apparently Palpatine managed to live through getting thrown into a reactor that exploded into open space.”

Despite his deadpan, slightly humorous tone, Ben could feel his irritation mounting ever since Hux was mentioned. A prickling sensation slowly becoming jabs and stabs as the Force around him became more turbulent. He had to get a hold of it, and fast. “Excuse me,” he said, standing up abruptly. “I need a moment.”

He left without another word, but before Rey could get up herself, he shot her a message through the bond.

_Alone. Please._

———————————————————————————————

Ben entered the corner of the forest planet’s cave, the space Rey had lived the past year in and one he now shared with her. On the table, among the clutter of staff, droid and lightsaber parts, lay his mother’s lightsaber. He picked it up, turning it this way and that in his hands as he studied its design. The ridges along the hilt so much like his grandfather’s yet more curved, such that his hands fit it perfectly when he held it. The thin emitter widened into its circular end — like the one he always saw Luke wielding when he taught them.

He felt conflicted. He always did whenever he spent his time studying his mother’s lightsaber. Holding it allowed him to feel closer to her, like there wasn’t still a gaping hole in his heart, in the Force around him. But it also felt like _his_. His lightsaber had ridges too. Wires. Exposed circuitry. A blade that crackled more than it hummed. All at once the imagery took over his senses. The black hilt tinged with red. The wild, vibrating energy threatening to tear the haphazard frame apart. The wails of the kyber crystal within. Cracked. Like his soul.

Ben tore himself away, breathing heavily. For a moment, he considered leaving the saber where he’d picked it back up again, but attached it to his belt anyway against his better judgement. He turned towards the exit of the cave, and immediately spotted the grey brightly contrasted against the forest greens.

The Falcon seemed cleaner than when he saw it last, taking the escaping Resistance away from the besieged base on Crait. It dwarfed the X-wings at the landing area, and Ben could just spot a speck of brown under the ship, probably fixing yet another broken part. He stuck to the shadows of the cave. He couldn’t meet Chewie now, not after all he’d done to him. Not after Han.

Instead, he turned his attention to the cave interior, where the volume of voices had started to raise slightly. Resistance members walked briskly to different parts of the cave, while Poe, dressed in the orange fighter pilot outfit, spoke to multiple groups passing by to give him their reports while also jumping back and forth between computers and holocalls.

Ben noted how there were actually very few Resistance members walking and jogging about the cave. The few dozen who escaped Crait, now all living in the Tantive IV corvette. He remembered that they used to fill multiple CR90 corvettes just like it. How they used to man capital ships and dozens of X-wings zooming across the expanse of open space. How there were billions, if not trillions of people on Hosnian Prime. All the lives snuffed out by the red of the beams of Starkiller Base, of the stormtroopers’ blasters. Of his wild jagged lightsaber.

He turned back towards the outside world of Ajan Kloss, keeping to the shadows as he made his way to the forest, following the one light in the Force. Soon, he arrived upon a clearing some distance away, where Rey watched Finn— was he floating a rock?

_“I think Force-sensitives can tell when somebody else is Force-sensitive.”_

Finn’s offhand comment when he and Poe had seen through his admittedly terrible disguise came to Ben’s mind now, and he realised that Rey was teaching Finn. Without him. Logically speaking, Ben knows it’s because Finn, despite the former stormtrooper’s general acceptance of him, was not comfortable around him. Ben figured he would not have been of much use anyway — while he was still able to use his abilities, his connection with the Force felt broken. Cracked, with gaping holes all along it. Flames burned its way into his mind, licking at the walls of Luke’s Jedi temple. Rey and Finn slowly faded into the night of his memory, and between them lay the bodies of his fellow Padawans strewn the entire distance and all around his feet.

He staggered back, and the night gave way to the sunlight of his reality. The irritation from earlier now felt like the barest prickle against the pain and regret. He gritted his teeth, sprinting back the whole way back to the cave and to his and Rey’s corner. He sat down on their makeshift bed, detaching his mother’s lightsaber from his belt, then his Glie-44 pistol, and laid them both in front of him on the mattress.

The pistol is certainly not Han’s — not his father’s. That old DL-44’s remains lies melted among that of Starkiller Base, along with that of its owner — but Ben remembers what it looked like. How his father so often bragged about its many modifications, and wouldn’t use any other despite Chewie’s argument about the merits of a bowcaster.

He remembered and cried. Grieved for all he once had and lost to his own foolishness. Thrown away. Abandoned.

His heart cried out, though he made no sound. The boy who once thought himself lonely, now truly alone by his own hand. He clung to whatever he had left of them. His father’s gentle touch on his cheek on that bridge on Starkiller Base. His mother calling his name from across the galaxy, reaching him across the raging waves of Kef Bir and the rage of the Force from the Death Star’s remains at his feet.

“I am here now,” he said. Not exactly to himself, but who else was there? “Be with me. Give me strength.”

Silence replied, from the room around him, and in his mind. He almost wished it wasn’t so.

“Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will tell you, I cried writing that last part. 
> 
> Feel free to leave kudos, and leave a comment if there were any particular parts that spoke to you. I'll reply as soon as I have the time!


	4. Drowning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben hasn't told Rey about his breakdown on Ajan Kloss, and Inferno Squad is sent on a mission to a place Rey is less than happy to be in.
> 
> Meanwhile, something more sinister lurks within a dark corner of the galaxy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of you returning readers will have noticed the title change. I started this fic with the intention of linking Ben and Rey with the remaining duo of Inferno Squad, but over time I realised that this is really about Ben and his journey, with or without the people around him, and the title 'The Adventures of Inferno Squad' became less and less fitting. This is a journey with an end, and therefore its title will reflect it.
> 
> I would also like to apologise for the delay leading to this new chapter. A lot of the research I did ended up going into later chapters when I desperately needed something to actually set things up. Hopefully the writing process becomes smoother as I go along.
> 
> If you'd like to chat every so often and listen to me ramble on about random Star Wars facts, I'm on Twitter as @ShadowRenWrites, and on Discord in The Writing Den server.

“You want us to go where?” Rey asked.

Ben’s gaze wandered around the room for what felt like the tenth time in just as many minutes. He had been called to the corner of the cave Dameron used for briefings along with the rest of Inferno Squad, the morning after his breakdown in Rey’s own corner. He didn’t— couldn’t tell her. What could he say? ‘Oh, I got a little upset because we were discussing that rabid cur with a ridiculous name and apparently I can’t hold a lightsaber without breaking down completely.’?

Besides the members of Inferno Squad, Finn and the short woman he had seen the day before was also in the room with them. Dameron sat at the head of the large rock the Resistance sort of passed for a meeting table. The pilot-turned-general sighed now, rubbing the bridge of his nose. 

“Mon Cala,” he repeated. “The ocean planet Admiral Ackbar came from. We’re going there on a goodwill mission for the New Republic, assisting them in rebuilding Mon Cala after the First Order attack on the planet.”

Ben had heard of that planet before, and he had met the fish-like admiral as a young boy clinging to his mother’s robes, but as far as he remembered he had never gone there before. Judging by the frown that had emerged on Rey’s and the short woman’s faces, he surmised that it was not the most pleasant of places.

Dameron seemed to have noticed their faces too. “Don’t look at me like that,” he said to Rey. “I need you two there because you’ve actually met King Ech-Char.”

“Yeah, from a glass tube after we got attacked by a Quarren.”

Ah. That would explain Rey’s expression. Ben looked at Zay and Shriv beside him, then back to Dameron. “Sounds like you just need Rey and…” he trailed off, looking at the short woman.

“Rose,” she supplied. “Rose Tico.”

“Rose,” Ben repeated. “So why did you call the whole squad? If you wanted to do a diplomatic mission, putting me in the team would be a bad choice, especially for a planet rebuilding after an attack by the First Order, which may I remind you I was Supreme Leader of?”

“Oh, trust me, I know,” Dameron grumbled, “but I can’t leave you alone here without any Force users to keep you in check, and the Mon Calamari will most certainly not want you in the throne room, so Rey needs some extra backup while she’s there in case you go berserk.”

Dameron’s reasoning was more than fair, but the words still left a sting in Ben. He would never be trusted no matter his intentions. It made him angry.

He closed his eyes and took slow breaths to calm himself, stretching out into the Force around him. He could not sense the signatures of the plants crawling up the walls of the cave nor that of the non-Force sensitive people in front of him clearly. Instead of the well-defined glow he was used to, the edges of these signatures were dull, blending into each other. Only Rey’s signature burned brightly enough for the blurring to not be noticeable. 

It had been that way since he and Rey had left Exegol. After he had healed her and all the determination fuelling him had faded. The anger that had once ignited the Force in him was gone too, quenched in the waters of Kef Bir with his lightsaber. All that was left now was emptiness, his vessel emptied out from the hole left behind. A damaged vessel thrown away by everyone around it. He didn’t blame them. That vessel had once unleashed a tsunami that took away everything they held dear. No one would dare go near such a threat again, even if they were to find out that it was damaged.

It didn’t mean he liked being treated that way. Or that he hated that vessel too. The vessel that was himself.

“Ben?” Zay’s voice jolted him out of his thoughts, and he snapped his head up. Rey gave him a concerned look. Across the large rock, Dameron appraised him with a disapproving eye.

“You better not be dozing off on the job, Solo,” he reminded Ben. “We had to run a lot of risk pleading your case to the New Republic. You owe us now, and don’t you forget it.”

“Don’t worry,” Ben replied coolly, standing up with his gaze fixed on the Resistance general. “I won’t.”

——————————————————————

The mood did not improve much as they made the trip to Mon Cala. Ben had to sit in the lounge of the Corvus with most of the expedition team while Shriv went up to the bridge. He would have been fine if it was just Zay or Rey, but having Dameron and the former stormtrooper constantly eyeing him and his mother’s lightsaber on his belt put him on edge. It wasn’t like he could use the weapon anyway.

The other woman, Rose, was a little more accommodating and observant about his discomfort, settling her attention on a sort of electronic device in her hands. Zay watched her tinker with the device, occasionally asking a question or two in a quiet tone that Ben could not pick up on. Rey tried to engage Poe and Finn in conversation each time his discomfort leaked through the bond, and between these short and unsuccessful attempts settled into a meditative state. Nonetheless, Ben was grateful for the reprieve.

He fiddled with the hems of the hooded cloak Dameron had given him before they left for Mon Cala. Make it a little harder to recognise the former Supreme Leader of the First Order, he had said. The hood was large, such that when he drew it over his face it covered his eyes completely. He drew it back a little so he could actually see whatever was in front of him. 

It felt like days rather than a mere hour or so when Shriv’s voice finally broke through the Corvus’ speakers. “We’re here. Docking in Dac City.”

Ben drew the hood of his cloak, adjusting it as he followed silently behind Rey to the boarding ramp. The two Resistance Generals followed behind him, and their stares felt like they were drilling into his broad back.

Dac City was a beautiful place, he decided when he saw the sunlight reflecting off the curved metallic structures of the sea-level port. The water surrounding them and partially submerging the structures held a crystalline sheen from the same reflected sunlight, and was otherwise clear as transparisteel. Under the surface, schools of fish in various different colours glided across the seemingly bottomless ocean, and past the equally colourful variants of coral growing on the sides of the submerged structures.

The peace and light it brought him was quickly interrupted by a massive shadow, as a giant squid-like creature caught half the school in one swipe. As quickly as it had happened, the creature had disappeared behind a rocky outcrop in the water, the only evidence of its earlier presence a fast dissolving bloodtrail from the remains of its meal. Ben decidedly looked away from the water then, before he could draw any parallels between him and the squid, and ignored Rey’s prod of concern in their bond.

Shriv joined them on the platform a few minutes later, the Duros glancing warily at the water around them. “I don’t like how there’s creatures in there ready to gobble us up,” he muttered.

“Oh, cheer up, Uncle Shriv,” Zay nudged him. “You survived that one time on Sullust, a few sea creatures can’t be all too bad.”

“Whatever it is, I’m not going down there. I’m gonna stay up here where it’s dry.”

Dameron tossed the Duros a sideways glance. “You’re going to be watching him, though.” He jabbed his thumb in Ben’s direction. “You up for that?”

Shriv frowned. “Look, I don’t know what exactly happened between you and him, General, but he’s not that bad once you take some time to get to know him.”

“And I’m staying with Uncle Shriv,” Zay added with a grin in his direction. “Somebody’s got to watch for these scary sea creatures.”

“Suit yourself,” Dameron acknowledged. “In that case, let’s split into two groups. I’m going down to Mon Cala City with Finn and Rey. Rose, you stay up here and help the Mon Calamari with the technical stuff we discussed. Ben, Shriv, Zay, you’re following her. No funny business while we’re gone.”

——————————————————————

Ben watched from the corner of the room as Rose worked on a large machine embedded in the wall. Several Mon Calamari watched as she explained the functions of its different parts and how to fix them. While most of the explanations escaped his understanding, Ben managed to catch that the machine was an old pre-Imperial Republic model, and that there were several such machines scattered around Dac City. Rose would fix this one, after which the group of Mon Calamari around her would take her information and go on to fix the others. He wasn’t sure what they were used for. Whatever Rose had said about its function must have been drowned in all the technical terms.

Zay had long gone to join the group, eagerly listening in to Rose’s explanations, but Shriv had remained at the sidelines with Ben. The Duros leaned against the wall next to Ben, who had seated himself meditatively on the floor in the shadows of his corner in the workshop. Both of them kept their distance from the other group, which began to laugh at something Zay had said.

“I meant what I said earlier, you know,” Shriv said, startling Ben out of his contemplative state to look up at the Duros. “Whatever your past, you’re not much of a bad guy now.”

“Not everyone sees it that way.” Ben absentmindedly picked up a stray bolt, probably dropped from someone’s toolbox, and fiddled about with it. Rotated it in his palm. Twirled it across his knuckles and back again. He always did that, his mother had told him once, when he was still a child, still his uncle’s Padawan. Always fidgeted with anything in his hands when he was in deep thought. He wasn’t now. He didn’t know what he was even thinking about, if he thought about anything in the first place.

Shriv either did not sense his uncertainty or just didn’t care. “Iden and Del, they did plenty of bad things when they were in the Empire. Word of them always came to us in the Rebellion. Inferno Squad, deleting the crucial information we were decrypting and killing half the crew. Inferno Squad, blowing up an entire cruiser all by themselves. I sure as Force didn’t trust them. But they came through, in the end. Realised they were fighting for the wrong side. Helped us out more than the damage they did and got me one hell of a spitfire co-pilot.”

“They were only a squadron,” Ben dismissed bitterly. “I was the Supreme Leader of a force more feared than the Empire itself.”

“More feared?” Ben swore he heard a chuckle from the otherwise grumpy alien. “Kid, nothing can beat an organisation whose big war became the basis of our calendar system. Sure, you blew up more planets, but you used the Empire’s old tactics. We’ve already seen those. We just didn’t have the means to set up all the counters.”

“Still doesn’t give anyone a reason to forgive me.”

“Yeah, sure, it doesn’t. But I’m saying you’re not all that bad compared to them. Compared to your grandfather.”

Vader. Ben had not thought about him since Exegol. The ruthless right-hand man of Emperor Palpatine, much like his own position alongside Snoke, or Palpatine as he knew it now. But Ben knew now that was not all his grandfather was. “He was a Jedi once,” the words tumbled from him. “Luke… my uncle said he came back to the light, in the end. Saved him from Palpatine. He got to become one with the Force.”

Shriv grimaced, crossing his arms. “I always left Force talk to Del, he was always more interested in that sort of stuff,” he said, “but you basically said Vader became good right at the end, yeah?”

Ben nodded. Shriv replied in kind.

“Then there’s your answer. If Vader could do it, no reason that you can’t. Besides, I’ve learnt that second chances are a thing now.”

His heart filling with hope, Ben opened his mouth to thank Shriv.

But his words were immediately drowned by a deafening crash and fearful screams.

——————————————————————

The form-fitting wetsuit the Mon Calamari had given Rey before she entered the throne room did not offer her any resistance against the cold waters of the Mon Calamari throne room. She sensed Poe and Finn drifting in behind her, and they were all flanked by at least ten Mon Calamari guards. 

The throne room consisted of dark walls, the only illumination being the blue concentric rings on the floor. King Ech-Char lay within a separate ring towards the back of the throne room, his body wired to a crib-like device that kept him alive. His body and face looked far more wrinkled than when she had seen him last about a year ago. Perhaps that was simply the toll of age and the strain of rebuilding his world.

“Master Jedi,” he greeted, a solemn look on his face. “I am sorry I have only managed to contact the Resistance now. Rebuilding after the attack of the First Order has taken quite a toll on my people. I heard General Organa has passed?”

Rey nodded. The grief she had over losing Leia was still not completely gone, and she briefly wondered how Ben seemed to take it in stride. “She has.”

“My condolences, Master Jedi. She was a good woman.”

Rey was not sure what to think about the title Ech-Char gave her. She might be the only Jedi left, but she was hardly a Master by any sense of the word. “Just Rey, please, Your Majesty,” she settled, before turning to indicate her companions. “This is Finn and Poe Dameron, the current Generals of the Resistance. We are here at the request of the New Republic to offer assistance to the rebuilding efforts here on Mon Cala. Sergeant Rose Tico is already in Dac City giving technical assistance as previously discussed with the New Republic.”

The Mon Calamari monarch dropped his hand to his side, contemplating her words. “You speak rather eloquently now, Master— Rey,” he observed. “The last time you stood here you were more than brash in your words and actions. I recall General Organa being the one to convince us to help you then, despite your actions.”

A niggling irritation bloomed within Rey at the king’s words, one she quickly stamped down. It would not do for her to compromise this mission. There was no Leia to save them this time. “I have learnt from that incident, and from others since.”

“There is another matter I need to speak of before we enter proper discussion about the rebuilding efforts.” Ech-Char’s gaze shifted from Rey to the Resistance generals behind her. “The New Republic’s decision to pardon Kylo Ren.”

Rey bristled at the mention of Ben’s old name. “His name is Ben Solo,” she gritted out.

“Perhaps to you, Master Jedi, and to his mother, General Organa. But to many in the galaxy he is still Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order.” This time it was not Ech-Char who spoke, but a squid-headed Quarren standing beside the king’s medical pod. Upon closer inspection, she recognised the features of Chadkol Gee, scowling at her with great malice. “I don’t know what happened in that meeting with the New Republic, but I certainly would have gone against it had Mon Cala not been preoccupied with repairing the damage he caused in the first place.”

She really needed to get a hold on her anger, and fast, but Rey allowed it to seep into her next words. “And weren’t you supposed to be put away for your attempt at murder when all we needed was your help?”

“My value was reevaluated after the First Order made their attack,” he replied, with an edge in his voice Rey could almost take for glee. “They needed all they could get. Just like you did then. Just like you have now. I should be questioning why you would accept a mass murderer over a mere traitor such as I.”

The accusatory words and their brutal truth enraged Rey past her limit even as King Ech-Char ordered Chadkol to stand down, and she was sure she might have choked the traitor to death right there and then, had the dull sound of an explosion above not stalled her movements. 

She was not the only one who had heard it, as even King Ech-Char turned his gaze to the ceiling. “What was that?”

Beside him, Chadkol’s mouth widened with glee, his sharp teeth grinding together in a sinister accompaniment. “That is Kylo Ren getting his just reward.”

——————————————————————

Ben rushed out of the machine room, blaster drawn and primed. The sight that greeted him struck him to the core. 

It didn’t help that Dac City’s blunt-tipped, conical structures reminded him of Luke’s Jedi temple, and he had been pushing the thought away from the moment he noticed it at the landing pad. Flames engulfed it now, further matching the image haunting his dreams. The only difference was that instead of lightning from the sky above, the flames seemed to implode from within as each building was torn apart by a massive droid in the centre of the city.

When the Jedi temple burned then, seven years ago, he had run away. Never again.

He ran towards the city centre, until he was mere metres away from the droid. It looked like an aqua droid from the Clone Wars, but this one had a much larger claw with sharp digits, the same ones that had been tearing apart the shimmering metal of Dac City’s structures. Its right arm sported a laser cannon that nearly touched its feet. Unlike its predecessors, the droid had a much thicker torso. Ben wasn’t sure if he wanted to know what it stored inside.

“SEARCHING: KYLO REN,” it droned repeatedly in a deep, echoed voice, and Ben understood. He could prevent further damage to the city.

Ben tore off his cloak, leaving his visage open for the droid to see. “I’m here!” he called out to it. “I’m Kylo Ren!”

As the droid turned to face him, taking slow, heavy steps, Ben scanned his surroundings for an open space with the least civilians. His gaze landed on an empty landing pad which, if he remembered his bearings right, was uncomfortably close to where he’d last seen the massive squid creature earlier. It was the best he had. “Come on and get me!” he hollered, sprinting off in the direction of the landing pad.

“TARGET CONFIRMED: KYLO REN”

Ben felt somewhat relieved that the droid’s target was him and him alone. It made luring it over much easier. Returning the blaster to its holder, he drew his mother’s lightsaber from his belt and ignited it, dropping into the firm opening stance of Ataru. It was the furthest he had ever gotten with a lightsaber since Exegol, and adrenaline fuelled him now. 

He could do this.

The droid extended its claw, revealing the barrel of another laser cannon in its palm, and began to charge it. Electricity crackled from packs on the surface of its arm into the barrel, the bright blue light within growing in intensity.

The blue light did not affect him, but the crackling did. All of a sudden he was back on Starkiller Base, the familiar crackling of his red lightsaber against the hum of his family’s blue in Rey’s hands. He refused to look at his hands. The sound was enough for him to know that it was no longer his mother’s lightsaber in their grasp.

He knew this moment. Relived it every night. 

He did not charge forward in rage like he had then. Instead, the cold snow froze his feet, stuck them fast to the ground. 

She did not slash his face.

Instead, the ground cracked open beneath his feet. No time to jump back, nothing to grasp on. He simply fell, down into the abyss below.

Then, a sloshing sound from below. A blunt impact, spread across his back, knocking the air from his lungs. Water flooding into his ears, muffling all sound than that of bubbling water. His fall was slower now, and he realised he was sinking. 

Drowning.

He tried to move his arms, force his legs to kick himself back to the surface, when he realised that he didn’t know which way was up. His vision was nothing but darkness, his eyes shut tight by the sting of saltwater. He could be going deeper underwater for all he knew. 

His hand brushed against something metallic, and he used the last of his strength to grasp it, finding curved edges pressing into his palm. His mother’s lightsaber. Not his. The droid must have blasted him into the water while he stood frozen by his vision. It was no use beating himself up about it now. He felt sensation start to leave his limbs, the cold water sapping strength from them, until he could no longer tell if the lightsaber was still in his hands.

Sensation drained from his eyes, and his eyelids drifted open in time to see a dark figure swimming towards him.

As darkness claimed him, he recognised Rey’s gentle features.

——————————————————————

Ben jolted awake, a hacking cough forcing its way through his lungs as he struggled to sit up, only to have someone push him back down onto something soft. His blurry vision slowly cleared, and the first thing he recognised was Rey’s three buns lined up at the back of her head.

“Rey,” he croaked, and she put her finger to his lips before he could say more.

“You swallowed a lot of water, Ben,” she explained. “Just rest.”

He closed his eyes. He may be too weak to speak, but when it came to the two of them voices were not the only way they could talk. _What happened?_

_Modified aqua droid. You were recognised and someone with a grudge against you sent out that droid to have you killed._

Ben knew what she was going to ask next. _I had my hood up the entire time until I faced down that droid. I don’t know how I was recognised._

_Whatever it is. What happened there? I know you could have taken it down easily by yourself. Zay managed to snipe it in the head after it shot you off the landing pad._

A brief silence. Ben weighed his options.

_I know you’re keeping something from me, Ben. First you leave Leia’s lightsaber on Ajan Kloss, and now you don’t use it. What’s wrong?_

Ben opened his eyes to meet Rey’s own. _I can’t use it. I keep getting… visions, whenever I hold or ignite it. I see myself killing my father, that night at Luke’s temple. When I faced that droid, I— I saw us, on Starkiller Base. But you didn’t get to slash my face then. The ground just split underneath me and I just fell, into the water._

Rey reached out a hand to caress his cheek, then leaned forward to hug him as if she felt that was not enough. _Oh Ben. I’m sorry. I should have been more observant. You told me then, too. That it reminded you of Kylo Ren._

 _Enough about me,_ Ben interrupted, finally noticing the familiar edges of one of the Corvus’ crew cabins. _What happened with Ech-Char? We were supposed to be on Mon Cala for several days, but this is the Corvus._

 _He had the one who wanted you killed arrested, and told us to get you off Mon Cala first._ A pause. Rey knew how he felt about other people’s opinions of him. _He said having you on Mon Cala would just bring more chaos whether you want it or not._

_I suppose I can’t blame him._

_Yeah. Me neither._

_So what now?_

_Poe’s a little angry about it. He’s quite sure the New Republic will be, too. You’ll probably be taken off official Resistance missions for a while._

_I think that’s for the best._

He half expected Rey to protest, but she nodded instead. 

_I think so too. I’m taking the next few days off, Poe and Finn don’t really need me there all the time. We can go find someone who can help you._

_Where exactly are we going to find Jedi? In case you’ve forgotten, Snoke— Palpatine destroyed the last Jedi temple._

_The Force can guide us, Ben. The Jedi became scattered after the rise of the Empire. Perhaps there’s still a few somewhere, or there could be things they’ve left._

Ben closed his eyes again, lying back fully with his head on the pillow. _I suppose we can try that._

_And we will. Together._

_Always._

——————————————————————

**Unidentified First Order Star Destroyer, Unknown Regions**

“Supreme Leader, we have received word that our contact on Mon Cala has been captured. Kylo Ren has been confirmed sighted, but has escaped Mon Cala with the Resistance aboard a Sphyrna-class corvette.”

Young and inexperienced as he was fresh out of the Academy, the sergeant standing in front of him seemed quite decent at his job. He communicated information well. “Thank you, Sergeant Kilian. You are dismissed.”

The Supreme Leader turned his attention to the bridge as he heard the quiet whoosh of its blast doors opening and closing behind him. No other sounds save for the soft beeping of computers and muttered orders passed among the officers manning them. The sound of everything moving to plan and schedule. He allowed a sinister smile to cross his lips.

“The First Order is mine to control,” he muttered to one far away on the other end of the galaxy, “and you will burn alongside your traitorous kind.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POVs other than Ben! 
> 
> Let me know your opinions down in the comments!


	5. Healing Connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amazing moodboard for Journey of Redemption made by [ SuchaPrettyPoison ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuchaPrettyPoison/pseuds/SuchaPrettyPoison) ([ @suchaprettypsn ](https://twitter.com/suchaprettypsn) on Twitter)
> 
> I am so incredibly sorry for the delay in getting this chapter written and published! I discovered a lot of Gingerrose prompts over the week and just started sketching one after the other. While it's still creating, it's certainly not writing.
> 
> Many thanks to my new beta, [ SheWalksInBeauty26 ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SheWalksInBeauty26/profile), who has been brilliant in her turnaround rate despite a very rushed and heavily procrastinating me.
> 
> Now, enjoy the new chapter!

Ben rubbed at his tired eyes, adjusting his sitting position and the datapad on his lap for the hundredth time that day as he scrolled through old Imperial logs. On the other end of the couch, Dio beeped low as Zay yawned in boredom, concealing her mouth with her own datapad. No one else was in the Corvus’ lounge with them, Rey having long escaped the mundane and mind-numbing activity to help Shriv with some repairs.

Just as Rey had predicted, the New Republic was quite displeased upon hearing of the unsuccessful diplomatic mission to Mon Cala, and ‘advised’ Dameron to keep him from Resistance missions for a while, at least until Ben had recovered from his trauma. He could hear the scoff in their tone at the word ‘trauma’, like they couldn’t believe that a mass murderer like him could really regret his actions. All they saw was an asset that had rendered himself useless. A liability.

With him put on hold, Rey had to be, too, and such was the Republic’s reluctant decision. Zay and Shriv, on the other hand, were to continue missions with other members of the Resistance. Ben felt a twinge of sadness at the prospect of being separated from his newfound friends so soon after they had met, to which Zay reassured him that he could always visit them in the Corvus while it was at the base.

Which led them to their current situation, three days later, searching Imperial logs for leads to surviving Jedi from after the Purge. 

“’Jedi Order devotee Ahsoka Tano, dual lightsaber wielder, survived duel with Darth Vader on Malachor, current location unknown,’” drawled Zay from her couch. “If she survived a duel with Vader, she must have lived for quite a while.”

“She did,” Ben agreed, “but Rey told me she heard her voice in the Force when we duelled Palpatine on Exegol. She’s gone now.”

Ben wished that Rey had whisked him away on a grand adventure guided only by the Force as she had promised him in the Corvus’ medbay, but both of them knew that was not the smart way to go about it. The galaxy was enormous, and even the most junior of younglings in the old Jedi Order would have been 3 years older than Ben’s mother. If they were not already dead, they would have concealed themselves in the Force for decades. He would trust the Force one day, but not today. Not while the threat of a reviving First Order still loomed over the galaxy.

But these logs, provided by Rose and Shriv’s combined efforts to extract them from the New Republic archives, held no clue as to where they should go. Each time they found records of a Jedi escaping the initial Purge, there would be a record of their execution not long after. Some of the archives had also become corrupted over the decades, which frustrated him further.

“Ben!” Zay called to him. “’Jedi Cal Kestis discovered on Zeffo, escaped on S-161 XL luxury yacht. Pursuing Inquisitor: Second Sister.’ It’s the second time I’ve seen his name in the logs!”

Ben scooted over to look at Zay’s datapad, where she had highlighted both logs. The other read, ‘Jedi discovered on Bracca, Mid Rim. Escaped capture by Inquisitors Second Sister and Ninth Sister. Worker logs compared with Jedi survivor list identify the rogue Jedi as Padawan Cal Kestis. Target is armed with a lightsaber, caution advised.’ “Don’t get our hopes up yet,” he reminded her. “Three logs. If he survives another encounter we’ll look him up. What date was the Zeffo log on? I’ll skip a year and search for the other Jedi. You keep looking for him.”

Not even a minute later, Zay jumped up from the couch with a whoop of joy, catching Ben’s attention. “There’s two logs close together! I think there’s a chance!” she cried.

Ben leaned over and read from Zay’s datapad, “’Jedi Cal Kestis confronted by Second Sister on unidentified planet. Escaped on the same S-161 XL luxury yacht (refer to log 41, 12-6-5 AGE). Jedi artifact retrieved by Second Sister, to be delivered to Imperial base in Nur immediately.’” His eyes moved down the list to the second mark. “’Security breach at Nur, perpetrator confirmed to be rogue Jedi Cal Kestis. Fugitive escaped capture by Inquisitor Second Sister and Darth Vader and has stolen valuable Jedi artifact 7-Aurek. Second Sister confirmed dead after the breach at Nur. Cause of death: lightsaber wounds.”

Ben felt a glimmer of hope. “Keep searching for at least the next year of logs. He’s a survivor, I’ll give him that.”

Half an hour later, neither Ben nor Zay found any more logs regarding the Jedi Cal Kestis. Each year of logs they passed through gave Ben more and more hope that they had found a living Jedi. He didn’t hear Rey calling his name until Zay started soft-hammering his shoulder to get his attention.

“Ben!” he finally heard, as Rey barrelled into the lounge room, grinning even as she caught her breath. “Ben, I’ve got a lead.”

He grinned back, waving the datapad in his hand. “We’ve got one, too,” he said, “but you go first.”

———————————————————————————————

Of all the species in the galaxy, Ben did not expect a Zabrak to be Rey’s informant, least of all one wearing a Resistance uniform. He’d thought they mostly kept to themselves in Iridonia or Dathomir, with the exception of Dark side users like the Darth Maul from Luke’s many tales of the old Jedi.

Unlike Darth Maul, however, this Zabrak was pale white with faint grey markings and had no horns. Instead, he had a full head of well-groomed hair a darker shade of ginger than Hux, and looked about Rey’s age; far too young to have been a member of the old Jedi Order. The Zabrak turned from his conversation with Shriv, and made eye contact with Ben.

“Ben Solo,” he greeted with a small but warm smile. “My name is Sovru Kestis. Shriv told me you and Rey were looking for Jedi.”

“Kestis,” Ben repeated. The name from the logs. “You know Cal Kestis? He’s still alive?”

Rey and Sovru exchanged looks, then turned to Ben in wide-eyed confusion. “You know my grandfather?” Sovru asked. His expression turned into one of worry. “Does the First Order—”

“No,” Ben quickly clarified. “I found his name in old Imperial logs about half an hour ago. Wherever you’ve hidden him, he’s safe.”

“I didn’t hide him,” Sovru corrected. “He left to seclude himself on a planet called Bogano after my grandmother passed away. I check on him and bring him some supplies every standard month or so.”

“Can… can you take us to him?” Ben asked, already feeling uncomfortable with the request. For a Jedi who had faced the Empire so brazenly, Ben felt that there would only be one reason for Kestis to not join the Resistance and help Rey — he was done fighting. Ben was not sure if he wanted to invade the peace Kestis had found on Bogano.

Sovru nodded. “I can bring you there on the Mantis,” he offered. 

“Can I come along too?” Zay asked, but before Sovru could answer, Shriv shook his head.

“I was going to tell you, Zay,” the Duros said, “but General Dameron’s sending us to Coruscant again tomorrow. Solo may be having his recovery time, but we’re still on active duty. Remember that.”

Zay’s shoulders slumped, her expression downcast. 

It was Rey who comforted the young teen, placing a hand on her shoulder. “It’ll be fine, Zay. One day, when we get the Jedi Academy started up, you can come visit us all you want.”

Rey’s words seemed to pacify Zay, who looked up, nodded, and jogged back to the Corvus. 

Shriv watched his young charge disappear into the corvette, then turned to Rey. “Thank you,” he said. “She’s as curious about the Force as her dad was.”

Ben remembered when he had been as curious as she was. It frustrated him that the memory only brought him pain. All his memories did, because he could not tell what was real and what had been altered by Palpatine. 

He dearly hoped that fate would never befall her.

———————————————————————————————

If Mon Cala had been beautiful with its glistening waters, Bogano was strikingly calming with the expanse of its sky stretching to the horizon without obstruction save for the large cylindrical structure in the distance. Even without any large trees to speak of, Ben could still hear the trills of multiple birds around him. The hard, rocky ground gave little room for anything more than moss and wild grasses to grow, and was littered with little burrows and shallow puddles. 

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Sovru asked. Ben turned back around to the Zabrak and an equally amazed Rey. The sight of her entire being aglow with excitement made his heart just a little lighter.

“It looks empty at first, but there’s still so much green!” Rey cried. “Like big plains of green and blue and grey and— don’t you start laughing at me, Solo!”

In his defence, he could not help it in the slightest. The rumbling laughter rolled out of him, accompanied by a warmth in the bond that amplified itself with every shake of his shoulders. He clenched the soft fabric of his black sweater above his heart as he laughed. It was the same one he had worn back on Kef Bir and Exegol, the hole over where Rey stabbed him now messily patched with a piece of black fabric that he could still feel if he brushed his hand along the spot.

Eventually, his laughter subsided, leaving a smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth. Ben looked up to find Sovru grinning wryly at them, arms folded around a small package wrapped in brown paper — the supplies for Cal Kestis.

“Let’s head out now, shall we?” asked the Zabrak. Rey composed herself as Ben nodded in reply, then followed their guide down the platforms and cliff edges.

Ben soon found that despite Sovru’s guidance, the route across the deep chasm below was a difficult one. They had to clamber over many steep platforms, while some were too high and forced them to use the tough vines growing down its walls to climb up.

“It’s like a very calming obstacle course,” Rey noted as Ben hauled her up over the edge of one of the platforms.

Sovru laughed at that. “It may seem so now,” he said, “but you shouldn’t say anything until you meet one of the Oggdo Bogdos.”

Ben continued walking forward, only his head turned in the Zabrak’s direction. “What’s an Oggdo Bogdo?”

Rey’s cry of, “Ben, look out!” came a second too late.

His right foot stepped on air, and the resulting moment of his full weight tilted over the edge sent him toppling into the large circular opening in the ground below him. Years of honed reflexes kicked in as he righted himself to land on his feet in a large puddle of water.

Almost immediately, Ben forced his legs to launch himself into a side roll, narrowly avoiding the massive jaws of a creature that distinctly reminded him of a Hutt. Unlike the slimy large slugs, however, this creature bounded towards him on four powerful limbs, and had three eyes trained on its prey. 

“Run, Ben!” Sovru’s voice warned from above. “That’s the Oggdo Bogdo!”

Run where? The cave was much smaller than the platform he had fallen from, and the Oggdo Bogdo easily took up a good chunk of the space. His eyes settled on a dark tunnel on the opposite side, and he darted for it. The moment he entered the tunnel, he realised he had made a fatal error. The opening was still large enough for the creature to comfortably fit in while trapping him.

Ben turned around to see the creature leaping straight for him, and heard the whoosh of an igniting lightsaber in the distance.

“BD-1!”

A small droid dropped from above onto the Oggdo Bogdo, and gave it an electric shock, causing it to stagger just as it passed the opening of the tunnel. A cloaked man Ben did not recognise dropped into the cave with a blue lightsaber, and dashed forward before somersaulting over and slicing straight across all three of the creature’s eyes.

“I’m sorry,” the man murmured to the creature in a gruff voice — that of an old man, before turning to Ben. “Are you alright?”

A few seconds passed as Ben tried to catch his breath. “I… Yes. I’m fine.”

“Move aside for a moment, please, Ben,” the old man said.

Ben stepped aside, trying to make out the man’s features in the darkness of the tunnel. Something brushed against his senses; the sensation of the Force moving at the old man’s will. The wall Ben had braced against when he faced down the Oggdo Bogdo cracked open to let sunlight trickle in, before the pile of heavy rocks fell apart to make an opening.

The sunlight finally uncovered the features of the man, whom Ben now realised had greying ginger hair the same shade as Sovru’s, and the worn yet functional robes that reminded him of Luke when he saw him last during the force bond moment with Rey on Ahch-To. Unlike Luke, this man’s expression was calm, his gaze gentle and without judgement or cynicism. The little droid clambered up to the man’s back, giving Ben a curious beep.

Also— had the man just called him ‘Ben’? “I— uh, have we met? I don’t think I introduced myself.”

“You didn’t need to,” he replied. “The Force told me of your arrival. You would be surprised by how much the Force divulges to you when you really listen to it.”

The old man extended his hand in greeting, his expression unchanging even in the face of the bewildered look Ben was sure he was sporting right at that moment.

“It’s good to meet you, Ben Solo. My name is Cal Kestis.”

———————————————————————————————

Ben crumpled himself into one corner of Cal’s small hut while the old man conversed with Sovru. Rey sat beside him, her eyes roaming the hut and likely taking in every detail about the life of this Jedi.

He supposed that on any other day, he might have done the same. But something piqued his interest a little. “Sovru, when I saw you, I thought your grandfather might be a—”

“Zabrak?” Cal finished for him, chuckling into his hand. “You wouldn’t have been too far off the mark. His grandmother, Merrin, was a Dathomirian Nightsister.”

Ah. That explained it.

“In any case, that’s not why you’re here,is it?” Cal fully turned his attention to Ben. “You need something from me.”

He nodded, taking his mother’s lightsaber from his belt and jerkily laying it down in front of him while he struggled to keep his spiralling thoughts at bay. “I can’t wield a lightsaber,” he began, taking a deep, shaky breath. “Any time I hold one, I think of my old one. The one I wielded when I was on the dark side. Then it becomes a memory of everything I’ve done and I—” Ben shuddered. “I lose control.”

Cal’s expression turned solemn as he knelt opposite Ben, and pulled out his own lightsaber — a smooth, double-bladed one, Ben realised — to set it down next to Ben’s. “I was the same way once, after the Purge,” he said. “I witnessed the death of my master, and my connection to the Force was damaged. When I meditated, my thoughts would spiral into chaos, just like you.”

Ben looked up then, into dark green eyes full of the wisdom of age and experience. “So what do I do?”

“Meditate,” Cal answered. “Face your memories. Let them flow through you.”

“I don’t— Palpatine, he— he’s manipulated my memories since birth. I don’t know which is real and which isn’t.”

“It doesn’t matter whether it’s real or not. Let them all flow, and the Force will show you the truth,” Cal asserted, before settling into a meditative kneeling position. “Now, meditate on your memories. Tell me what you see.”

Ben gritted his teeth, but did as he was told, letting his hands fall to the floor at his sides as he settled into a cross-legged position.

He had not meditated in several years, since Starkiller Base and his fierce chase for Rey, but the total darkness he encountered hardly surprised him. It was always that way. He used to meditate all the time, looking for Vader’s spirit, longing to hear his grandfather’s voice. Only now he knew why he had felt nothing; it was all a lie fed to him from birth. “I don’t see anything.”

“Try to reach out with the Force,” Cal replied. “Reach for your mother’s lightsaber before you. Hear the call of its crystal.”

Ben took a deep breath, focusing his attention on the faint hum of the kyber crystal nestled in its metal frame, and slowly reached out to its dim light. The moment he touched it, the light flared a bright red that blinded him, and he cried out.

Cal’s voice drifted to him from the realm of reality. “Focus. Let it flow.”

The red light subsided, and he was in his bedroom in his childhood home on Chandrila, a few of his toys floating in the air and Han looking at him with sheer horror on his face as he yelled for Leia. Another flash of red, and Ben found himself seated at the dinner table his family apparently shared, though it was now empty— his parents stood just outside the door, arguing again.

Another red light blurred his vision, condensing until it became his blue lightsaber, clashing with Voe’s green on the training grounds of Luke’s Jedi Temple. Ben watched from his own eyes as he parried the other Padawan’s strike and Force-pushed her hard into a nearby tree, knocking her unconscious. He saw Luke’s cry of alarm, his uncle’s stern voice as he relegated him to meditation for the next week.

Red light burst into flames as Ben watched the temple burn. The same vision he had on Ajan Kloss, Padawans strewn about the ground to his feet from the burning ruins, their corpses illuminated by his red lightsaber in the beginning stages of its corruption. “I killed them,” he cried. “I killed them all—”

The flames extinguished themselves, red light becoming his crossguard lightsaber as he found himself on that bridge in Starkiller Base, facing his father. His weakness. The dead weight to be cut off and thrown away. His body charged forward without hesitation, hewing Han’s body in two with a single swing. “No!” he cried, pushing against the memory, imagining a bright light to will it away. “Take it away! It’s not true, it can’t be true! I refuse to let him have this hold on me forever!” 

Cal’s voice pierced through the screaming of his mind as it soothed him. “Do not fight it. The more you fight it, the more you remember the lies you try to forget. Rest. Let the Force show you the way.”

Ben’s stopped as Han’s remains fell into the reactor below. He focused on the painful events of that day. How he begged his father to help him, to free him from his pain. His torn soul. His father gently caressing his cheek before his body fell, whole, into the reactor.

The reactor’s light intensified as Han’s body disappeared, and he came back to the temple. There were no Padawans lying dead at his feet, and the ground before him was illuminated in blue. His lightsaber, yet untainted, dropped to the ground. His body quickly followed, having tripped over his own feet staggering back from the lightning storm that set the beautiful temple ablaze.

A bolt of lightning turned into a flash of blue, spreading into the blue sky of the daylight hours during which Luke trained his Padawans in lightsaber combat. Ben duelled Voe not with their lightsabers, but with the wooden training sticks Luke had carved out for them. He did not push her then. Instead, after he parried her strike, he dropped low, sweeping her feet from under her. Luke regarded him with praise for his ingenuity, and a warm smile.

Another flash of blue, and he was back in the dining room. This time, he was not alone— his father sat beside him munching on a ration bar as he asked Ben about his studies at the Jedi Temple, expressing once again his preference for blasters over the Force. His mother admonished his father from the nearby kitchen for eating such bland food while she was cooking them a delicious dinner.

A tiny flicker of blue light danced into his field of vision— the little sparkling lights on one of his old toy starfighters floating in the air the day his father discovered his Force-sensitivity. Han did look a little scared out of his wits then, but he was grinning as he called for Ben’s mother and threw jokes about special kids running in the family as Leia gave him a warm hug and told him stories about a Jedi named Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Ben opened his eyes, returning to the hut on Bogano with a heart lighter than he had ever felt before, even on Exegol. The memory of his parents and his uncle, untainted by Palpatine’s manipulation, continued to repeat in the back of his head like a mantra of happiness and warmth.

Cal simply smiled at him. “Now take your lightsaber.”

Ben brought his hands back to his lap, and grasped his mother’s lightsaber. He held it for ten, twenty, thirty seconds, yet it did not morph into his warped lightsaber. Instead, he remembered her laughter, interrupting her snarky jabs at his father, the warm hugs she always gave to him, her little Ben. Her hair as his small fingers braided them for a senate meeting as well as any five-year-old child could, while she thanked him with a smile anyway.

He shed a tear, then two. As he ignited the lightsaber, they became a steady stream, and he extinguished it again, laying it down as he sobbed, Rey comforting him in his mother’s place. He cried, not as much to grieve her as it was a reaction to the happiness of her memory. For the joy of the realisation that Palpatine had not fully claimed his soul after all.

He was free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not crying, are you crying? Oh, who am I kidding I'm really crying.


	6. The Flowing Force

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter!
> 
> Special thanks again to my beta, CameronSwolo, who has been great support in excitement for the new chapter and catching all my sleepy typos. 
> 
> Now, onwards!

Ben blinked awake, staring up at the metallic grey ceiling of the Mantis’ lounge area. A strip of bright light reflected against it, and Ben shifted onto his side to see that the luxury yacht’s boarding ramp was down and the entrance left open.

He slowly sat up, stretching from his shoulders to his fingertips, and down his back to his toes. The Force flowed through him as a steady river, not unlike when he had called upon its power on Exegol. His mother’s lightsaber lay on the caf table, and he reached for it, studying its features now that it no longer morphed into his own dark and damaged one. 

An old lesson of Luke’s came to him, of how each lightsaber design reflected the Padawan who made it. It made sense to him now, seeing the ridges of his mother’s lightsaber reflected against the memory of the ones on his own, and on the family lightsaber that Rey now held. The rose gold hilt was something new though, an insight not into his mother’s past but into her own life. What made her choose that particular material?

“It was still my past, Ben. I chose it for a different past.”

Ben jumped at the voice beside him, snapping back his left leg to avoid the lightsaber that had slipped from his hands. His heel slammed into the lounge chair with immense force from the speed at which he jerked it backwards, and he clamped his teeth onto his lower lip to stop himself from screaming as he clutched his bruised foot.

When he finally looked at the direction of the voice, his heart clenched. There, with an ethereal blue glow, stood his mother, smiling serenely at him. All at once the throbbing pain in his foot disappeared as Ben kept his gaze fixated on her, afraid that she would disappear if he blinked even once. “Mother…?”

“My dear Ben,” she replied. “It’s good to be able to see you again, after everything that’s happened.”

Ben opened his mouth and closed it again, mentally cursing himself. All through that month of healing after Exegol and the days since he had joined the Resistance he had always thought about things he wanted to say to his mother who had sacrificed herself for him, yet now none of them came to his mind. “I’m sorry,” he finally said. “For everything. For Dad, for blasting you out of that ship, for destroying everything you ever stood for—” 

“You didn’t destroy everything I stood for, Ben,” she reassured him. “You are still here.”

Ben’s vision blurred with tears. “How can you still say that?” His voice lowered to a whimper, hands grasping for robes that were not really there. “I took everything— the Republic, Dad, the Resistance — and yet you gave your life to stop me across the galaxy at that one moment. Why?”

“Because you are my son,” she answered, as easily as she had answered his many questions as a curious child. “Once it’s there, nothing can ever take away the love of a parent towards their child, no matter what happens as the years go by.”

He brought his hands back to himself, breaking eye contact for the first time to pick up the fallen lightsaber. He could hear the kyber crystal humming now, resonating with the presence of its owner in the Force. “So why did you choose this metal?” he asked, trying to draw out whatever time he had with her.

“It reminds me of my mother. My biological mother Padmé was a senator of Naboo, and the colour is a little like what she used to wear.” While Ben could not physically feel her hands, he felt her warmth as she covered his hands in her own ghostly ones clasped around the lightsaber. “I never got to meet her, but it helped me feel a little closer to her.”

“Like how it makes me feel closer to you.”

When he received no reply, he looked up again, only to find her gone. The humming of the crystal had subsided, now barely audible without its bonded owner. He tightened his grip on the lightsaber as he let his grief flow with the Force within. He had healed his connection with the Force, there would be another day where he would be able to see his mother again.

For now, there was much to be done, to restore what he had once destroyed before whatever new threat out there turned it into ashes. 

A rapid trill of binary drew his attention back to the caf table, upon which a little two-legged droid stood. He recognised the droid that had helped him back in the sinkhole with the Oggdo Bogdo. Cal’s droid. “Hey,” he greeted the droid. “Where’s Cal?” 

He glanced around the ship interior as the droid beeped its reply. “At the hut? So what are you doing here?”

Three beeps. “To get me?”

Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t see Rey or Sovru anywhere on the Mantis. “Where’s Rey and Sovru?”

Two long trills of increasing intensity, as if the droid was getting slightly exasperated with him. “With Cal. Right. And you’re called BD-1. Sorry, I just— I just need a while.”

Two beeps and a low whine. “I won’t be too long, I promise. You go ahead, I’ll be right behind you.”

Two beeps, and BD-1 hopped off the table, scampering down the ramp. Ben took one last longing glance at the lightsaber, then clipped it to his belt and followed. 

He quickly found himself having to jog just to keep up with BD-1’s tiny but quick strides up and down the platforms. Personally, he thought having a lightweight body and jet thrusters up the cliff was cheating.

Climbing up the vines of the last wall, Ben peeked his head over the edge to find Rey and Cal duelling in the open area outside the old man’s hut. 

Despite his age, Cal seemed to hold his own as Rey launched cut after cut at him, blocking each one with minimal turns of the wrists. Just as in the Oggdo Bogdo skirmish, his blue lightsaber was one-bladed, and both sabers had a much dimmer glow— the low training setting built into every Jedi lightsaber. Ben briefly wondered if the Sith before the Rule of Two ever had such a setting or if they regarded the pain of missing limbs as yet another source of Dark side power.

Cal flashed into a sudden cut, parrying Rey’s own and pushing her back a step, making both Jedi pause. “Ben, come on up. I can’t imagine it’s comfortable just hanging on the vines over there,” he said, extinguishing his lightsaber.

Ben felt his cheeks heat up, only now realising that he had been dangling over the edge for Force knows how long, and hauled himself up to join Rey and Cal. Sovru sat a little ways to the side, tinkering with an old-looking device while BD-1 perched on the Zabrak’s shoulder.

“How are you holding up?” Cal asked, pulling Ben’s attention back to the old Jedi. Beside him, Rey smiled knowingly at Ben.

Ben returned the smile. She must have felt his emotions from earlier through the bond. “I haven’t had any more visions since then,” he answered, pulling his mother’s lightsaber from his belt and igniting it, “and I saw my mother again. In the Force.”

“You saw Leia?” Rey’s eyes widened, her tone of wonder reminding Ben that his mother had been her mentor for the year between Crait and Exegol. “I haven’t seen her since…”

Ben pulled Rey into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “She’ll come back someday, Rey. To both of us.”

He looked up to see Cal briefly close his eyes and smile in understanding.

Ben had to ask. “Cal, your master…”

The old man shook his head. “He never learned that ability,” he explained. “I haven’t seen him since an old vision I had on Dathomir, decades ago. I don’t need to. I have my memory of him, and that is enough.”

Cal gestured to the lightsaber in Ben’s hand. “Shall we spar? You and Rey, against me. Don’t worry, BD-1 won’t try to shock you or anything,” he gestured to the droid, still perched on Sovru’s shoulder. “When Sovru and I fix things, it’s as if he’s mesmerised.”

“Two on one?” Ben raised an eyebrow. Skilled as Cal was, Ben and Rey both had very aggressive fighting styles that could overwhelm the old man.

Cal shot him a wry grin in return, then activated his lightsaber again. This time, both blades shot out from the long hilt. “Two blades,” he drawled as he twirled the saberstaff, then pointed to Rey’s and Ben’s sabers. “Two blades. I say that’s a fair fight. Low settings, we don’t want any chopped limbs on your end.”

“Our end? I think you mean yours,” Ben answered the old Jedi’s confidence, but adjusted the setting on his mother’s lightsaber anyway.

Barely even a second later, Ben came to the conclusion that Cal was far faster than his age and appearance suggested, as Cal lunged at them like a spinning vortex with his saberstaff. Ben dived aside into a roll, igniting his lightsaber as he leapt up to a low guarding stance.

The second Cal’s foot touched the grassy ground, he had leapt into the air again, smoothly transitioning into a one-bladed overhead cut that Ben was forced to block. Spread too far wide from the low stance he had taken, Ben’s legs crumpled from the force directed down his center of gravity. Ben leaned back at the last second, falling onto his back and freeing his legs to kick Cal off the pin.

Undeterred, the old Jedi merely landed on his free hand and launched himself back to his feet. As Ben scrambled to his own, Rey dashed up behind Cal in a straightforward charge, using her lightsaber like a short lance.

A simple twirl of the saberstaff knocked Rey’s blade aside as Cal spun around, and leapt into the air as Ben swiped at his feet. He had jumped straight up, however, and landed too close to Ben and Rey’s position. They descended upon him swiftly, launching cut after cut and even attempting to flank him on both sides, yet Cal calmly deflected every cut, one blade for each opponent. 

A quick jerk of the wrists spun the saberstaff into a fast-rotating disc, deflecting both Ben and Rey with a force that sent both of them staggering back. As they did so, Cal deactivated one of the blades, then sent the lightsaber flying in a full circle around him. Suddenly forced to block an additional attack, the already unsteady duo fell to the ground from the impact.

Cal caught his saber on the return flight, performing a small twirl in victory as Ben and Rey gaped at him. “The Force allows you to do many things,” he offered by way of explanation, “no matter what your physical condition may be. You simply need to listen to it and let it flow.

——————————————————————

“With skills like that,” Ben muttered as they entered Cal’s hut, sitting down by the fire pit in the centre, “why didn’t you join the Resistance? I would not have stood a chance.”

“Ben’s right,” Rey agreed, kneeling beside him. “You could have been a big help in the Resistance, and you could still be. I mean, Sovru’s in the Resistance…”

“Much to his parents’ initial displeasure, if I recall correctly.” Here Cal raised a wry eyebrow and smiled at his grandson, who laughed sheepishly in response.

“They told me it was dangerous, but eventually they got around when they realised it meant I could get the supplies that Grandfather needed to him more often since I operated outside First Order control.”

“As for why I did not join the Resistance, however…”

Cal folded up the right sleeve of his shirt to the elbow, revealing reddish-grey markings around his forearm. Ben noticed that they were not unlike Sovru’s Dathomirian markings. “I am actually very ill. Terminally so,” he revealed. “My wife Merrin and I fought the First Order together when it was still in its infancy, six years ago. We fought them alone, the way we used to do in the time of the Empire as I never joined the Rebellion nor did I make contact with them. One day, I got too confident, attacking a stormtrooper training facility on the planet Vardos. We were overwhelmed, I was shot in the back and the burn got to my lungs. Merrin had to drag my rapidly ailing body off of Vardos, but another bolt caught her just as we closed the ramp. We were too injured for BD-1’s healing stims to work… and for both of us to live.”

BD-1 seemed to wilt, emitting a low whine from where it had climbed onto Ben’s lap. “I was only a Padawan when the Purge occurred,” Cal continued, “so I had never been taught Force-healing, nor was I strong enough in the Force to learn it on my own over the years. But Merrin had the magick of the Dathomirian Nightsisters, and in the end she… she cast one of their spells on me, and died from the effort.”

He touched the marks on his arm tenderly, as if studying every line. “These markings are the physical remains of that spell, and even today I still don’t know exactly what spell it was she cast. What I do know is that it has only slowed the effect of the injury on my lungs — it has not healed them.”

As if punctuating his words, Cal coughed softly into his hand, leaving just the smallest splatter of blood, which he quickly wiped away with a nearby cloth. “The spell has kept me alive for these past six years, and the markings one of the few reminders I have left of her. I did not want to dishonour her sacrifice by simply throwing it away. Instead, I have stayed here, studying the Force.”

Ben nodded, accepting the old man’s words. If he had died saving Rey on Exegol, he would have been mad at her if she went and got herself killed immediately after to try and rejoin him.

Cal, seemingly sensing his thoughts, laid a hand on his shoulder. “Do not think of what could have happened, whether for me or for you. I, for one, am glad that the Force has brought us together, something that may have been impossible if Merrin had not sacrificed herself for my sake.”

Before Ben could say anything more, a beeping sound rang through the hut, and Sovru scrambled to silence his comm device. “Excuse me,” he said, darting out of the hut.

The Zabrak came back a few minutes later, agitated and out of breath. “We need to get back to the Resistance quickly,” he gasped out. “Something’s happened, we could be fleeing Ajan Kloss if the situation is as bad as it seems.”

Ben immediately leapt to his feet, as did Rey. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?” he asked Cal, who shook his head.

“I have fought my battles, I don’t think I can fight any more of them,” he said. “But take BD-1 with you. You’ll find that he is a very resourceful little droid.”

The droid in question launched into a fierce volley of beeps and trills, hopping off Ben’s lap and jumping up and down in what Ben loosely interpreted as indignation.

“But you’ll be alone here,” Rey realised, but Cal held up his hand before she could continue, causing BD-1 to pause as well.

“BD-1 has been an excellent companion and friend, but it’s about time he returned to the adventure he’s been craving. Better than accompanying a boring old man,” he chuckled.

Sovru turned back and hugged his grandfather goodbye as BD-1 launched back into its tirade. “If the Resistance does move, I don’t know how long it will be before I can come back.”

Cal returned the hug, touching foreheads with his grandson. “Don’t worry about me. I know how to survive out here.” 

He then knelt down, still several times BD-1’s size, and looked his little companion in the eye. “They need help, BD-1,” he reasoned. “I can’t do it, but you can. Just like old times, remember? Just with a different person.”

Two whines, the second lower than the first. “Just like Cordova, I know. But you’ll still remember me this time, and I’m not dead. Not yet. Time and the Force willing, we will meet again.”

One beep, and the little droid hopped up the old man’s lap, clambering up his back to his shoulders. The action caused Cal to chuckle. “Yes, BD-1. I’ll see you again, my friend.”

Cal raised his arm towards Ben, the one with Merrin’s spell markings, and BD-1 used it to launch off and jet-boost onto Ben’s shoulder.

“Now go,” Cal insisted. “You are needed elsewhere.”

As they rushed back towards the Mantis, Ben gradually adjusting his gait to account for the additional weight of a little droid on his back, Rey turned to Sovru. “What exactly happened back there?”

Sovru bit his lower lip. “They sent Rose to infiltrate the First Order again, about two days ago. You know how she never misses transmissions when she goes on spy operations like this?”

Rose. The mechanic from the Mon Cala mission. If Ben recalled correctly, she was a close friend of Rey’s. Beside him, Rey nodded, and Sovru exhaled audibly.

“She just missed one.”

——————————————————————

**Unidentified First Order Star Destroyer, Unknown Regions**

Rose glanced nervously about the room she was in, immaculately clean and minimalist in the way its design matched the rest of the Star Destroyer’s dark metallic interior. The only difference between this room and the standard quarters of a commanding officer was the presence of a holotable, currently switched off. She was tempted to turn it on and send a transmission to Kaydel as she had scheduled, but that would leave a trace for whomever this room belonged to.

Trying to calm herself down, she went through the details of the last fifteen minutes in her mind. A sergeant had approached her just as she had finished her shift, telling her that the Star Destroyer’s commanding officer requested that the temperature regulation in his quarters be tended to. She had tried to deflect the task, telling him that it should be directed to the technician taking the next shift as she was done for the day, but he insisted, saying that she had been specifically requested for the task due to her efficiency.

Upon entering the room, she found the system working just fine, though the temperature setting was itself slightly higher than usual. She chalked it up to the officer being another snooty and unobservant bureaucrat who had never fought a day in his life on the ground. She dearly wished that Ben had not been right about the new protocol of never referencing an officer by name. She wanted to find this officer and give him a good slap over the head.

But then why request her specifically? She had purposely downplayed her skills in her infiltration this time round. The only thing she could think of that was different was how quickly her application had been processed compared to before the Battle of Crait. From paper to arriving on the Star Destroyer, it had taken her only a few standard hours after landing on one of the Outer Rim planets they were still running recruitment efforts from. When the recruitment officers heard that she was a mechanic, it was as if the First Order had a massive shortage of mechanics given how quickly they rushed her onto this ship.

She paused. Shortage? There were just as many mechanics on this Star Destroyer, if not more, than there had been in her small section of the Supremacy over a year ago. If there was a shortage of mechanics in the First Order it certainly wasn’t here.

Quick application processing. A shortage of mechanics that did not exist. Temperature regulation that needed fixing but turned out to be just fine.

Rose was at the door in two quick steps, pressing the panel to open the door. It did not budge.

A trap. The entire application and job from start to finish was a trap, and she was caught in it.

As Rose tried to pry open the panel to hack it, the door opened to reveal a commanding officer wearing a large black greatcoat and a First Order standard black cap, towering a whole head above her. As he glared down at her feeble escape attempt, she realised that she recognised the officer’s ginger hair and gleefully evil green eyes.

“General Hux.”

“We meet again, rebel scum,” he sneered in the posh accent that had once sentenced her to death. “And the correct form of address is Supreme Leader Hux.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I... may have neglected to mention that Ben was not the only one to survive TROS here?


	7. Rescue Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another week, another chapter! My eternal gratitude goes to CameronSwolo/SheWalksInBeauty26, for being the best beta and not letting me get myself down. My many thanks also to all who have left kudos and commented here, on Twitter and in all the Discord servers, and to all my fellow sprinters in the Writing Den, this one goes to you.
> 
> Now let's find out what the new Supreme Leader is up to...

"Did you really think I couldn’t spot you from a mile away?”

Rose should not have been scared of Hux. Supreme Leader or not, this man was a strategist rather than a warrior. Force, he actually screamed like a girl when she bit him, and that was while she had been cuffed and on her knees. Gathering her wits about her, Rose dove down and to the side, aiming a kick to the back of Hux’s knees as she tried to drive her small frame through the gap between him and the doorway.

To her surprise, the Supreme Leader spun around just as quickly as she had, catching both her extended leg and one of her arms. By the time she had fully processed what had happened, her hands had been tied behind her back and she was once again forced to her knees, as Hux closed and locked the door behind him.

“I know what you are capable of now, rebel scum,” he growled, tugging her further into the room by the collar of her uniform. “I will not make the same mistakes I did then.”

“But you’re still keeping me alive.” If she was going to die here, Rose figured she would make it as uncomfortable for him as possible. “And my name is Rose. Rose Tico.”

To her internal glee, Hux scowled. “I would not deign to assign a name to a simple enemy grunt, little rebel,” he said, “but I know you Resistance rebels are far too willing to die for your execution to be of any worth. So willing to die, yet… so willing to save a comrade.”

Rose inhaled sharply before she could stop herself. The missed transmission. Kaydel would have picked up on it. Like it or not, Hux was right. She had managed to give them her general location during one of her previous transmissions, which would make it so they would know where to look… “You set this up.”

Hux sneered now, seating himself on the bed and leaning forwards to look her in the eye. “Indeed. You were a fool to come here on an espionage mission when you have a record of your appearance in the First Order archives. The systems picked up the similarities the moment you sent in your application, and I only had to arrange the rest. Did it never cross your mind how easy it was for you to get on this ship, or were we really so blind back then that this attempt was as easy for you as the last?”

He reached for her neck, and Rose tried to bite him again, only for his hand to snap back before her teeth made contact. 

“No use trying that twice,” he jeered, getting up to walk behind her and loop his fingers around the cord on her neck — her pendant. He pulled it off her neck, studying the crescent-shaped medallion at a safe distance from her tense jaws. “This medallion looks incomplete. Did it have a partner? A significant other, perhaps?”

“It’s none of your business,” she snapped, pulling at her restraints.

Hux twirled the cord several times around his hand, and held the medallion tightly in his clenched fist. “So attached to a single object. I have no doubt that if I sent out a holoimage of this to your Resistance friends, they would recognise it as yours immediately.”

“Don’t you dare!”

Rose threw her body forward to aim for his ankle, but the new Supreme Leader proved to be deceptively fast yet again, snapping back his foot and causing her to fall flat on her face. She wondered why he didn’t just kick her while he was at it.

“You are lucky that I am not one of the more brutish officers in the First Order,” he leered, pulling her back up by the chin. “They would take so much more pleasure in beating or ravishing you. No, I am not as foolish and near-sighted as they are. What I want is the death of the Resistance and the New Republic. Your friends will be desperate to save you, and when they arrive, we will be ready for them.”

He walked over to the holotable, activating it and placing Rose’s pendant on its surface, before sending its holoimage to the Resistance’s public HoloNet channel. Once he had done so, he switched off the holotable, and returned to his earlier seated position on the edge of the bed.

“The trap is set,” he declared. “Until then, you will stay right here in my quarters, where I can keep an eye on you.”

———————————————————————————————

“What’s the status on Rose?” Rey barked the second they had entered the base interior, Ben following closely behind her. 

He noted the increased activity around the base, the tone of the Resistance members’ jumbled voices growing frantic as they rushed for ships, parts, and cargo.

Rey also seemed far from calm, shoulders tense and eyebrows knitted together in an agonised expression. Her grip on his hand was so tight that it squeezed his knuckles together painfully, while her own had turned white from the effort. Irritation and frustration prickled at him,emanating from Rey’s side of the bond, and it was all he could do to push the memory of the same pricklings he used to get from Palpatine in his head and avoid lashing out with his own irritation.

“They’ve got her,” replied a young woman with blond hair tied into a braid crown around her head. “A holoimage of her pendant just showed up on our public channel. I don’t know if that means she’s still alive or not.”

“We have to rescue her,” Ben blurted out before he could stop himself, causing both Rey and the other woman to turn towards him. Rey’s grip loosened slightly, and he pulled his hand away to gently massage it, at the same time sending soothing waves through their bond. 

“Why do you care about someone you were going to kill about two months ago?” 

“Kaydel—” 

“No.” The blonde woman, Kaydel, strode past Rey to stare Ben in the eyes. “General Organa was like a mother to me. You think you can attack her, destroy everything she’s worked for, become the furthest thing from a son to her, and then waltz back in like nothing happened and you’re suddenly a good guy?” she accused, her face contorting with anger, before turning to Rey. “How do you know he’s not just posing? He could be a First Order spy, but you and General Calrissian are just too blinded by ‘familial ties’ to see it!”

“Kaydel, please, not now,” Rey sighed, her tone somewhere between pleading and frustration, stepping closer to try and pull the young woman away. “Remember what Lando said. Everyone deserves a second chance.”

Kaydel wrenched her shoulder away from Rey’s touch, and levelled an accusing finger at Ben. “Not him. Not the man who destroyed an entire planetary system in one go. Not the one who killed entire fleets, who shot General Organa out into space and weakened her. The one who’s responsible for all of this.”

“The First Order was not Ben’s responsibility, you know that,” Rey tried to reason with the livid Resistance lieutenant. “That was Snoke, and Emperor Palpatine—”

“They might have been the people behind the First Order, but this man—” Kaydel thumped her fist harshly onto Ben’s chest, “was the one at the frontlines, the one actually killing people, actually giving orders—”

Ben caught Kaydel’s wrist before she could withdraw it from his chest, speaking in a low, quiet tone. “You’re right,” he said, “I was the one at the frontlines. But the other things you said about me, wasn’t me. I didn’t order or oversee the construction of Starkiller Base, or command more than my small TIE fighter. That was General Hux. The one who shot General Organa— Leia— my mother, that was a different soldier in another TIE fighter. I was there when she got shot out of the bridge. I almost pulled the trigger myself back then, but I couldn’t.”

Kaydel’s fist relaxed slightly in his grip, and he continued, “I’m not asking you to forgive me for any of that, but I will tell you I’m not a spy. I know what I’ve done, the punishment I deserve, and I’ve got enough mercy for thousands of lifetimes. I’m asking you to let me stop this once and for all, without anyone else dying.”

He loosened his grip, allowing Kaydel to yank away her hand from his. She was still glaring at him, but it was less intense now. “I’m still watching you, Kylo Ren,” she warned. “Remember that. I’m only letting you off because it’s what General Organa would have wanted.”

Ben nodded. “It’s not an unusual sentiment, but I can live with that,” he said, before following Kaydel to the holotable in the centre area of the cave. The image of a crescent-shaped medallion was displayed on it, with a seemingly simple design that turned out to be more and more intricate the longer he looked at it.

“That’s Rose’s pendant,” Kaydel explained. “Showed up on our public channel a few hours ago, from an unknown location. Last we heard from her, she was in the Unknown Regions, assigned to a Star Destroyer. No information obtained as to who its commander was.”

“It’s something they’ve been doing lately, after Exegol. How long after, I’m not sure,” Ben supplied. “Nobody on the Star Destroyers refers to any commanding officer by name. We found out about it when we got ambushed over Coruscant on that escort mission.”

“And this wasn’t a thing before you left?”

Ben shook his head. “Snoke and I were too famous anyway. Which brings me to the next point. This First Order remnant is very keen on laying low, so what’s it doing sending a transmission right to us, on a public channel? I don’t know how to do it, but if I recall correctly, transmissions over the HoloNet can be traced fairly easily. They’ve basically handed their location to us on a silver platter.”

“It’s bait,” Kaydel deduced with a growl. “They’re setting a trap for us. We don’t know how many forces they have, or anything about what factories or stormtrooper training facilities they still have active all over the galaxy.”

“But we can’t just leave Rose there!” Rey protested with a sudden shout and spike of fear. “She’s our friend, Kaydel, don’t you dare tell me we’re abandoning her when she needs us!”

“Nobody said anything about leaving Rose to die, I want her back as much as you do,” Kaydel snapped. “But we need to be smart about this. No use sending a fleet just to all get blown up into cold space. The Republic may be the ones in power now, but we still don’t have the numbers needed for such a direct assault. Or the numbers to lose anyone else to it.”

Rey quietened, acknowledging Kaydel’s point. Every Resistance member was important, lacking Republic assistance as they were, and Ben silently cursed their ‘inability’ to help when the battle didn’t directly concern them. How his mother managed to thrive as a beacon of hope amidst such selfish and hypocritical politicians would continue to baffle him for the rest of his life. 

Wait. Every Resistance member was important, but… “Send me. I can infiltrate that Star Destroyer.”

Rey was on to him in an instant, and if she had been fearful before, her panic completely overwhelmed his side of the bond now. “Ben. Absolutely not. I’m not sending you in there.”

“I don’t see how else you plan on rescuing Rose,” he shot back, trying to slow his breathing in contrast to the frantic pace of his heart. “We don’t know what their numbers are like. You can’t lose any more Resistance members, but I’m expendable. Even if I die trying, the Republic will be quite happy, and the galaxy will have one less tyrant in it.”

“You are not expendable, Ben Solo. I did not heal you, _ twice _ now, and take all that trouble bringing you here and negotiating your sentence just so you could go off and have your self-sacrificing moment by leaving me,” Rey growled, tugging him down by the collar of his sweater and staring him in the eye. “Screw what the Republic thinks, or what the Resistance thinks. You, Ben Solo, are not a menace. You were manipulated into being one.”

“That does not excuse what I’ve done.”

“Well neither does going on a suicide mission! If you want to atone, you atone by living and making amends with the people who are still here. Dying is the easy route, Ben, and I’m not letting you take it because that would destroy me too!”

“Then what do you suggest we do? You don’t want Rose to die, either.”

His words caused Rey to bury her face in her hands, emitting a strangled cry from her throat. Turmoil poured through their bond with such force that it made Ben falter, shifting his foot in an attempt to stay balanced. Failing to do so, he dropped to his knees instead, pulling Rey into his arms and resting her head on his shoulder with his own atop hers.

“You were close, weren’t you?” The words sounded more like a statement than a question coming from his mouth. “Rey, let me find Rose. I promise, I will do everything I can to bring her back safely.”

There was so much conflict in Rey that Ben did not even need the bond to sense it in her. He could feel it in the way her shoulders shook, the way she clung to him and pressed herself into his shoulder. “I don’t want to lose both of you.”

Ben gently stroked her back, soothing her through the bond. “You won’t lose either of us.”

It still surprised him how easily he could lift his beloved scavenger, as he scooped Rey up bridal style. She turned to snuggle into his chest as he nodded to Kaydel in a silent request for some time, before taking her to her corner of the natural cave. 

By the time he had arrived at his destination, Rey had already fallen asleep, her energy expended in her emotional outburst. Ben laid her on the small mattress there, and extended his arm to let BD-1 clamber off his shoulder. The droid hopped around Rey’s figure for a little while, before emitting a falling ‘fwoo’ sound.

“Keep an eye on her for me, okay?” Ben whispered to the small droid, patting its flat cuboid head. “I have to do something on my own.”

BD-1 beeped twice in reply. Ben nodded to it, then stood up with a soft grunt, leaving Rey behind as he made his way back to the main computers.

———————————————————————————————

“So you’re really going to do this?” Kaydel asked Ben as her fingers typed commands into the hacking program, retracing the HoloNet transmission of Rose’s pendant. 

“I am. Rey’s face is well known to the First Order. They’ll only shoot her on sight. The same goes for anyone else here.”

“I’m quite sure your face is well known, too, being the former Supreme Leader and everything,” Kaydel pointed out. “As far as I know, the First Order doesn’t take kindly to traitors, either.”

“They only know me with the mask on,” Ben replied, keeping his gaze on the screen of the computer. Aurebesh letters and symbols littered the screen in organised lines of code, one after the other, until a small window appeared with a string of numbers. The coordinates of the transmission source. These he understood. His father had taught him how to read them from an early age. 

Even so, the location they indicated confused him. “It’s over Jakku,” he breathed, disbelieving. “I thought Rose said the ship was in the Unknown Regions?”

Kaydel seemed just as confused at the location. “Perhaps they were picking up new recruits. Jakku is not that far from the Unknown Regions.”

Just as well that Rey would not be following him, then. He knew how much she hated that planet. He hated it too. “Then that’s where I’ll start. Can you equip me with an old ship? Preferably one you don’t expect to see again, because I’m definitely not going to stop by Jakku’s surface after I get Rose.”

“I still don’t trust you,” Kaydel bit out, her right hand curled into a fist next to the computer’s input panel. “You could just be joining the First Order again.”

“You said it yourself, Kaydel, the First Order doesn’t treat traitors kindly,” Ben replied. His next sentence came out in a low murmur. “And I’ll never leave Rey again. Not like that.”

Ben lifted his gaze to the blaster on the table beside the blonde lieutenant’s hand. “If I ever join the First Order again, I give you permission to shoot me right between the eyes. You’ll get the first shot.”

He watched as Kaydel’s eyes landed on the same blaster. “Very well,” she acknowledged. “Get Rose home, but ensure that you make the return trip too. I want a new TIE fighter from the First Order fleet to replace the rickety old ship I’m giving you, and I don’t want to be the one to explain to Rey why your mangled body got crushed in the trash compactor.”

Ben couldn’t help but smirk in reply.

“You’re talking to a Solo. Trash compactors are our specialty.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	8. Confrontation

Compared to Mon Cala and Bogano, Jakku was by no means a beautiful planet. Visiting it a second time did not change Ben’s initial assessment of it in the slightest. The part of Jakku he was in only made it worse.

Niima Outpost was one of the few navigational beacons on the desert planet, and the place where Rey traded her scavenged scrap for portions for most of her life. Ben was tempted to seek out Unkar Plutt and give the blubbery creep a broken arm for the way he had treated her, but the young man knew that it would only jeopardise his current mission, not to mention cause his face to show up on planetary records where they could be found by any remaining First Order officers who might have once seen his uncovered face.

Ben was not sure who he was supposed to look for. Seeing as Rose had managed to get on the Star Destroyer, the First Order must have started bolstering their forces with adult soldiers and personnel. Before Exegol and Ben’s subsequent defection, the First Order had exclusively used children taken and trained from infancy. There were no recruitment officers, nor any post or uniforms for them.

Approaching the salvage market, Ben adjusted the scarf wrapped around his shoulders and the lower half of his face, scanning the various shopkeepers and scavengers for anyone with a First Order symbol.

It became easier when he realised he could skip over any non-human settlers, who formed the bulk of the inhabitants of Niima Outpost. The First Order was exclusively human. Shortly after this revelation, he spotted a black uniform contrasting sharply with the light brown tarp of the tent it was in. 

Ben approached the tent, finding the uniform’s owner to be a human man, and the uniform itself to indeed have the insignia of the First Order. Dark hair peeked out from underneath his black First Order cap, and the slightly-built man was playing cards with two other human men. Unlike the First Order officer, they were dressed in the beige rags and loose clothing befitting the desert they were in, and were likely local scavengers eager to make a few credits off the well-to-do officer.

Upon closer inspection, he realised that there were a few interference chips on the table along with the cards: the game was sabacc. The blue backing of the cards reminded Ben of his first sabacc deck, given to him by Lando on his eighth birthday, and of his father using the new deck to teach him the rules of the game. The memory caused him to grin behind his scarf. An old family game, taught to him by experts in the field.

“Morning,” he greeted the group. “Mind if I join in?”

“You’re not from around here,” the officer noted, but gestured to the seat opposite him on the square table anyway. “Join us. I hope you’re a better player than these two. They may be good at finding scrap metal, but certainly not at finding any luck in this game.”

The two scavengers glared silently at the officer as Ben took the offered seat. He noticed that one of the scavengers was older, with salt-and-pepper grey hair and had a wide, jagged scar striking across a blinded left eye, while his dark brown haired companion wore tinted sand-goggles around his neck. 

Most of the credit chips on the table lay on the officer’s side of the table, a few of which he now tossed into two metal boxes, as did the other two scavengers. Ben fished out four ten-credit chips from his small sling bag, tossing two each into the boxes. One of them only contained eight credit chips, two from each participant, and the other was about half-full of chips; the sabacc pot. 

The game progressed smoothly for the first round, with no one calling their hand just yet. The last Sabacc Shift had left Ben with a comfortable +19 total between three cards of 11, 7 and 2. Scarface and Goggles had both locked in one of their cards each with the interference chips, which Han had pointed out as a rookie move years ago. Locking in just made it harder for the other cards to fit around the fixed value, and ran the risk of a bomb out.

But Ben wasn’t here to study the intricacies of sabacc. He had a job to do. “You’re not from around here, either,” he addressed the officer. “Nobody wears dark colours in this desert.”

“You’re one to talk,” he shot back, gesturing at Ben’s grey wool shirt and dark green cargo trousers. “What’s a guy like you doing in this junkyard anyway?”

Ben swapped out his 11 for a 5, bringing the hand total down to 14. “Looking for something that’ll get me a decent amount of credits. Got a family to support back home.”

Technically, he wasn’t lying. Rey was his family, and his home.

The officer took the bait. “May I interest you in a job, then? Have you heard of the First Order?”

Ben quirked up an eyebrow. “I’ve heard of them. Sounded quite powerful. Didn’t the New Republic take them down a few months ago though? I’ve heard more about elections than explosions lately.”

“Well here’s your chance to join us before we take everything back from those arrogant, hypocritical politicians,” the officer said, discarding one of his four cards after Goggles locked in another card. “I’m offering you a job as a stormtrooper, fighting on the frontlines. I’ve offered the same thing to these two” —he gestured to the two scavengers— “but they’re more keen on finding scraps to get their next quarter portion, like the unambitious lowlifes they are.”

“That’s enough from you, kid!” Scarface roared, upsetting the sabacc deck and the two credit pots with a mighty slam of his palms onto the table. “If you’re gonna waste my time with your kriffing speech and insults, I might as well take my due now!”

Goggles took the hint, scooping up the metal boxes and scattered credits, before both men sprinted out of the tent. Ben coughed once into the back of his hand as some airborne sand from their escape irritated his throat. Scarface’s cards and interference chip had fallen to the ground in the brief chaos, and Ben picked them up, subtly pocketing the small circular chip before returning the cards to the officer. 

“Lowlifes are lowlifes, in the end,” the uniformed man sighed. “Can’t even see the opportunities in front of them. The money in that sabacc pot? Pocket change compared to the wages of a stormtrooper. You seem like the right type for the job.”

“Sounds interesting,” Ben said, leaning forward in a show of interest. “When do I start?”

———————————————————————————————

For all his trash talk towards stormtroopers, Ben had to admit that they were very well trained. The helmet he wore now gave him so much information right in front of his eyes he could barely focus on the path in front of him. Multiple small screens of Aurebesh popped up randomly around the corners of his vision, each containing information he could barely process, let alone try to memorise for the Resistance.

The officer had secured him a spot on the Star Destroyer in almost no time, taking Ben on the shuttle to the capital ship as soon as they had kept the sabacc deck and provided him with a set of stormtrooper equipment from the shuttle’s storage. 

“FN-5070, stay in formation,” ordered a stormtrooper with a red pauldron on his shoulder; an officer. “Just because you’re a recruited shiny doesn’t mean you have the excuse of free will to slack around.”

Ben hastily matched his steps with the rest of the battalion, silently cursing his lapse of attention. Now the officer would keep an eye on him. 

If he recalled correctly, stormtroopers were not allowed to interact with the higher-ranked officers. At least, he had never been addressed by one directly when he was Supreme Leader. It suited him now, though, as it meant he could avoid them without suspicion. 

The battalion he had joined was one of fresh recruits; grown human adults from across the galaxy untrained in the doctrine of the First Order the way the original batches of abducted children were. Not all of them would be entirely loyal to the First Order, not yet. If he could just get out of sight of the stormtrooper officer…

“And this is the mechanics bay. Some of you will be assigned here as security, as it’s one of our easier and less crucial operations.”

Mechanics. Rose would have been working here. Trying not to turn his head, Ben surveyed the faces of the greyish-green and orange uniformed technicians in search of her, then mentally scolded himself when he inevitably failed to. Rose had been captured, of course she wouldn’t be lounging around with the other mechanics and technicians of various fields.

As the orientation tour continued, Ben looked for dark corners where he could split away from the battalion and search for Rose on his own. The red-pauldroned officer seemed to have eyes like a hawk, constantly catching and correcting errors in the marching of the recruits, and Ben dared not make his move while he was there.

Finally, about an hour later, the battalion was split into pairs for their first patrol job. To his pleasant surprise, Ben was assigned to the interrogation halls. Now he had less pairs of eyes to worry about and the closest possible assignment to where Rose would be kept.

His partner, FN-5071, was a sluggish fellow who couldn’t care less about protocol, as Ben discovered when he only needed to tell the other stormtrooper that he needed to take a leak before he was waved off. Silently grateful for the easy getaway, Ben now focused his attention on checking every interrogation room along the hallway. 

Not wanting to accidentally barge into a room mid-interrogation, Ben listened for any screams that might drift through the thick doors, before rapping a short rhythm on the door. Two rapid beats and one solid beat, twice; one of the Resistance’s call rhythms. He did this for every door along the hallway, then along the one connected to it, then a third hallway.

No response. Every room was empty. He was on the wrong Star Destroyer, and the one Rose was on must have moved. 

Just as he was about to return to FN-5071 and contemplate his escape plan, Ben felt a nudge in the Force. He’d completely forgotten about Force signatures!

Ben began his search anew, this time spreading his senses in the Force. One small dot of light lay about two hallway’s lengths away — FN-5071 — but there were no other signatures in the interrogation chambers. Turning down another hallway, two more signatures entered his vision, coming from the officers’ quarters. They were in close proximity; the same room.

He raised his fist to the door, then hesitated. What would he do if both signatures turned out to be First Order officers?

He inhaled nervously, then directed a soft growl at himself. He had to save Rose, and he could not spend more time in this Star Destroyer when each second he took was one closer to her potential execution. Clenching his fist tighter into itself, he rapped the call rhythm on the door; two short, one long.

Five seconds passed. Then he heard three short knocks. The reply call.

Ben slipped the sabacc interference chip into his hand from a small pouch on his belt, and inserted it into a gap in the locking panel, pushing it further in with the Force. The small current interrupted the circuits of the panel, causing it to open. Before it had even opened fully, he dashed into the room, only to see Rose’s small form curled up into a smaller ball and tied up on the king-sized bed.

He didn’t spot the dagger descending upon the space between his helmet and armour.

Instead, the soft shuffle of feet made Ben instinctively dive forward into the room, the blade glancing off his armoured back. Rolling to his feet, Ben realised that Rose had been gagged in addition to her bindings. There wasn’t much he could do in the moment; not with the other person clearly identified as a hostile. But what First Order officer would keep a prisoner in his quarters?

“So in the end it was a stormtrooper in disguise. More clever than I expected, at least, using our increased need for adult volunteers against us.”

An Imperial accent. A haughty, conniving tone he would recognise anywhere. 

Ben did not even need to turn around to know who the other signature belonged to, but he did anyway, finding the flaming hair and perfectly well-kept uniform of the man who had once been an incessant thorn in his side.

No, Ben corrected himself. He was still a thorn in his side. “General Hux.”

As soon as he was addressed, Hux froze in place, his features somehow contorting further in rage as his lips pulled back to bare his teeth. Ben could almost see the smoke emanating from the near invisible gaps between them.

The ginger-haired man wasted no time, taking two strides towards the stormtrooper and yanking off the helmet concealing his identity. “Ren,” he spat upon recognising the face, “we finally meet again.”

“And here I thought you died on Exegol,” Ben muttered. The Force pulsed stronger and wilder around him as his irritation towards his former subordinate returned. “First you betrayed the First Order, and now you’re back to becoming one of their Generals. One of these days, Hux, you’ll make up your mind about something in your life.”

“Not a General, Ren. Do you really think I would be so shallow a man?” Hux asked, stepping aside to carefully perch the helmet atop his holotable. The dagger he had attacked Ben with had disappeared, probably hidden back up his sleeve. 

“Why did you do it, then? Why become a spy for the Resistance only to double back to the First Order again?”

“I never did it for them. I did it so that you, an absent and useless Supreme Leader, would fall. So that I could rise from the ashes and rebuild the First Order. Everything has gone according to plan, save for the now confirmed fact that you are still alive.”

“Everything, you say? So what are you now? Allegiant Pompous?”

Surprisingly, Hux simply ignored the insult, his neutral gaze unwavering where once he might have screamed and flailed. “I am now the Supreme Leader of a new First Order. A position I should have had long ago, before you took over and ruined everything about the pristine order of this regime with your mythic and ridiculous Force.”

Hux, Supreme Leader of the First Order. Ben had not trusted Hux before as Kylo Ren, but now he shuddered to think of what this man was capable of in a position of such control and power. If he wanted to escape alive, with Rose, he would have to act now.

As Hux made his speech, Ben shifted his left hand behind his back, reaching to the Force surrounding Rose. Slowly, so as to not alert Hux, the knots binding Rose unravelled, one after the other. “The Force is real, Hux,” he said, keeping the conversation going. “Snoke and I both used it on you to great extent.”

“Not just to great extent; to my utter humiliation! But no more! This ends today, Kylo Ren. First with your death, then your filthy scavenger and the rest of the Resistance fleet will follow, all in your eagerness to save one puny rat!”

At the word ‘rat’, Ben jumped to his feet, tackling the thinner man to the ground and pinning down his right arm. 

“Wrong guess,” Hux sneered, and flicked his left, the dagger reemerging as he made a swing for Ben’s neck.

Ben rolled aside, but surrendered control over their fight in the process. Within seconds, Hux’s blade arced determinedly towards its target from various angles as he formed an unrelenting advance of wild yet terrifyingly accurate strikes. It was as if a switch had been flipped within the man, his perfectly coiffed ginger hair becoming windswept in an uncharacteristic, one-minded determination to kill his most hated enemy. 

Ben had never seen Hux fight in close quarters, but the skill with which the General-turned-Supreme Leader wielded his short blade easily rivalled that of even the Knights of Ren. Each stab and slash was perfectly aimed at the gaps between Ben’s armour, and he frequently lost sight of the dagger as it slid into Hux’s sleeve and back into his hand repeatedly, or changed hands split seconds before Ben could grab it. Every move was made with minimal expenditure of energy on the Supreme Leader’s end, and in such close quarters that Hux was barely sweating while Ben had to draw on all his Force-enhanced instincts just to avoid getting his neck skewered by the sharp blade that had already made multiple deep cuts in his previously pristine white stormtrooper armour. The close quarters and the limited space also prevented Ben from accessing the lightsaber hidden in his armour, lest Hux use the opening to slit his throat or Ben accidentally hit Rose somewhere in the room.

“I know what you and Snoke thought of me, Ren. A rabid cur simply to be used and thrown away when it had served its purpose,” Hux raged, his words punctuated with every strike and every wrench of his hand away from Ben’s grip. “All of the people who have been above me have underestimated me. Snoke. Palpatine. Pryde.”

Hux jumped unexpectedly, launching off the springed bed to latch his legs around Ben’s neck, and used the moment of his full body weight to bring Ben crashing to the floor. “All of you with your Sith and Jedi ways, hellbent on proving yourselves right while ignoring those without the power to join you in your world, yet in your bloodlust you failed to see me rising beyond.”

Ben grasped futilely at Hux’s legs, his grip losing its strength as the air was sealed from his lungs by the Supreme Leader’s chokehold on his neck.

“I am a survivor first and foremost, Ren. I have outlived Snoke. I have outlived Palpatine, Pryde and Exegol.”

“And now,” Hux said, lifting his dagger for the final blow, “I will have outlived you.”

Already on the verge of blacking out, Ben only heard a loud thunk before the vice around his neck loosened, allowing him to take a sharp inhale of much needed breath. He blinked a few times as his vision was restored, only to find Rose towering above him and to the side instead of Hux with the stormtrooper helmet in her hand. His unconscious form lay limp by Ben’s other side.

“Let’s go, Ben,” said Rose, her eyes not leaving Hux’s prone form as Ben peeled the Supreme Leader’s legs away from his neck. “I don’t know how long that will knock him out for.”

Ben did not reply, but reached for the helmet in Rose’s hands as he studied her features. Her eyes were unblinking, remaining on Hux even as Ben had to use a little extra strength to pry the helmet from her tight grasp. The Force surrounding her signature grew erratic in prominent pulsing waves. Ben frowned at the observation. Since when could a non-Force-sensitive person influence the Force around them to that degree?

Rose bent down to pick up the dagger that had dropped from Hux’s grasp, and crawled over to aim it above the bared neck of the unconscious man. Ben darted forward in alarm, quickly wrenching the dagger from her grasp and throwing it to the other corner of the room, shaking his companion’s shoulders. “Rose, we have to go!” he exclaimed. “He’s not worth it!”

“But he’s killed so many people! He’s the Supreme Leader! If he dies here the First Order would really be over!”

“Trust me, when you’ve killed someone with your own hands you will never forget that moment. It will scar you forever, and the First Order won’t be over. Someone else will just take his place, but before that we’ll be found by the other stormtroopers and executed. Rose, I don’t know you as well as Rey or Kaydel does, but I’m very sure that this isn’t you. Now snap out of it and let’s go!”

Ben watched as the cloud of rage disappeared abruptly from Rose’s dark brown eyes, and he frowned again. Something was wrong, and certainly not with Hux. For now, however, they had an escape to accomplish. He put his helmet back on, took Rose’s hand, and led her in a brisk pace out of the quarters.

———————————————————————————————

Hux awoke to a throbbing head and blurry vision.

He spent the next minute rubbing his eyes, trying to gauge the events before his unconsciousness. His dagger was no longer in his sleeve, instead lying across the room at the base of the holotable. The previously pristine black metal floors of his quarters had become covered in scuffs and the sheets of his bed rumpled, as if someone left its surface in great haste.

It came back to him all at once. The Resistance spy tied on the bed. The stormtrooper who had come to rescue her. Kylo Ren. The scuffs as a result of their subsequent battle. His moment of triumph as he raised his knife to bury it into Kylo Ren’s neck. Then nothing. No further memory.

But Kylo Ren’s body was not present and lying in a pool of blood.

He had failed. He had Kylo Ren at his mercy and he failed to kill him. Now both he and the tiny Resistance rat had made their escape.

He scolded himself for not pressing the alarm button to call for help before engaging his hated nemesis in battle. An uncharacteristic lapse of judgement on his end. He needed to find them, but he did not know how long it had been since he had been knocked unconscious.

The Supreme Leader scrambled to his feet, stumbling as his body readapted to conscious movement, and pressed the button on the door panel.

The door slid open to reveal a lone stormtrooper on his scheduled patrol.

“You there,” Hux addressed the soldier. “What’s your designation?”

“FN-4374, sir.”

“FN-4374,” Hux repeated, “There is a spy disguised as a stormtrooper who has escaped with the Resistance fugitive. Find them and bring them to me.”

“I am afraid that won’t be possible sir. I received reports from the bridge of an unauthorised TIE fighter departure about ten minutes ago. Those must be the fugitives you were seeking, sir.”

“And were they shot out of the sky, at least?” Hux snapped the last two words.

“The weapons could not be armed in time, sir. They were under scheduled maintenance.”

Hux kept his expression tight-lipped, but behind them his teeth ground against each other in fury. “Get me the full report of the stolen TIE fighter, as well as the recruiting officer and station of the rogue stormtrooper. Such an error must not be repeated again.”

“Yes sir.”

Hux turned away and back into his now ruined quarters to reorganise his plan against the Resistance.

He failed to see the stormtrooper slowly wave a hand towards the back of his head.

  
  



	9. Reconciliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thousand apologies for the delay in updating - nearly an entire month since Chapter 8! My country went into lockdown shortly after and it's taken me a while to getting used to not being able to even have my morning walks to the train station and occasionally (read: often) losing track of the day - For these past two weeks, I'd been operating under the assumption that I had not updated Journey of Redemption in two weeks instead of four.
> 
> On the bright side, though, I am happy to announce that the plotline of Journey of Redemption has been fully plotted - no more writing myself into corners, which should hopefully help me update more regularly now.
> 
> Okay, alright, I've delayed you enough. Enjoy the chapter!

Rose received a joyous welcome when Ben flew her back to Ajan Kloss in the stolen TIE fighter. Dameron, Finn, Kaydel and the other Resistance members glomped her in a massive group hug before she’d even set her feet on the grassy soil, shouting and laughing all the while. Ben’s hulking figure emerging from the cockpit was largely ignored in the excitement, which suited him just fine.

Until his gaze landed on Rey’s furious expression.

He scrambled off the TIE fighter then, forgoing the stepladder in favour of a Force jump, and approached his other half in the dyad with caution. “Rey, I—”

“Shut it, Ben,” she snapped. “BD-1 told me what happened. BD-1. A droid! You left on a mission that could have gotten you killed and you didn't even bother to open up the Force bond to tell me yourself?!”

“You were very much against the idea last time I checked, so pardon me if I didn’t want you yelling in my ear while I was pretending to patrol with other stormtroopers.”

“And I would have, if not for Kaydel swarming me with things to do around the base! I’m guessing you told her too?”

Ben was easily a head taller than Rey, but the waves of fury emanating from her made him feel much smaller than he actually was. The image of Palpatine came unbidden to his mind, and he hastily trampled it down, hoping that Rey had not caught his thoughts through the bond.

One look at her face told him she had.

Glistening eyes and teeth bared in worried anger had been replaced with wide eyes and fists clenched so tight that her knuckles had gone white. Ben swore that for a split second he saw a glint of gold in her irises, which didn’t help his predicament at all as the image of bright yellow eyes conquered his vision. 

Ben screwed his eyes shut to clear the image from his mind, which Rey did not take well.

“Answer me, Ben!”

“Shut up,” he muttered under his breath, as voices he thought he would never hear again echoed through his mind anew. His heart constricted in his chest and the air in his body repelled itself from him in jagged bursts. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!”

Shouting aloud seemed to have done something, as the voices immediately retreated and his heart rate returned to normal. Ben took in giant gulps of much needed air, and reopened his eyes. In the few seconds of his vision, he had somehow collapsed to his knees on the grassy ground, and he pushed himself up using a nearby rock for support. His view was unfocused, his mind still reeling from the voices, but as it cleared he saw Rey still standing, her hands by her side. Straight. Unmoving. Tense.

Fearing the worst, Ben raised his gaze to find Rey’s own. Tears had welled up in her eyes, and that alone broke what was left of his heart. “I am not him, Ben. I will  _ never _ be that man.”

“Rey, no, it’s not because of—”

“You don’t get to say that, Ben! Not when you always remind me of Han. Not when you remind all these people around you about Vader!” she interrupted him with a strangled cry. “You don’t get to tell me I’m not the cause of your visions, because Force knows you gave me visions for well over a year!”

“I am not my grandfather,” he growled. 

“Then neither am I mine!”

Both their voices had risen to shouting, ringing in his ears. Just behind Rey he could see the crowd around Rose slowly dissipating, Finn leading them away while Dameron cast a worried glance in Rey’s general direction. Their fight had not gone unnoticed. What had they even been fighting over to begin with?

Enough was enough, Ben decided. White-hot anger was still flooding the bond from Rey’s end — he would have to be the one to defuse the situation, while he could still rein in his own. “Rey, perhaps we should take a little time to cool off,” he said, then offered his olive branch. “Go see Rose. I know you were worried about her most.”

Rey’s anger suddenly flared into a wildfire at his words and Ben winced, knowing he had made an error somewhere in his sentence. How he had never inherited the verbal abilities of either of his parents, he would never understand.

Unwilling to feed the flames any further, Ben made his retreat into the forest.

———————————————————————————————

Watching Ben stalk away into the trees hurt far more than she thought it would.

Rey’s anger had left her the moment Ben’s giant form disappeared into the foliage, replaced instead by the deafening whispers of regret. Ben’s side of the bond flickered briefly in response, before cold silence prevailed; he had sealed off his part of the bond from her.

Freezing emptiness tore through her heart, the agony nearly forcing Rey to her knees, but she managed to seat herself on a flat rock before she could collapse to the dirt. Was this how Ben had felt when she had sealed herself away from him on Crait? The pain of the bond being cut off restored embers of fury, which she now caught and fought to push it away. She didn’t want to be Palpatine — she didn’t want to be even the tiniest smidge like that man. Yet she couldn’t deny it, his nature locked into her blood. 

She hated that most of all, and the thought alone pulled her back into her anger, deeper and deeper into the black pits of the Dark side —

“Rey?”

The small voice behind her pulled Rey out of the darkness and back into the light as her eyes flew open. Rose stood in front of her, no longer dressed in her First Order technician’s uniform but back into that of the Resistance with her beige shirt and dark green work trousers. Additionally, the small Haysian woman was wrapped up in a thin shawl, and there were bags under her eyes, no doubt exhaustion from her ordeal aboard the Star Destroyer Ben had rescued her from.

Despite that, Rose sat down beside Rey, and clasped the Jedi’s hand in her own. The soft, light fabric of Rose’s shawl brushed over Rey’s wrist, which distracted her further from the dark thoughts humming in the back of her mind.

“Are you alright?” Rose asked. “You and Ben seemed a little…”

Rey nodded, taking deep breaths as she let her previous thoughts flow into the Force. At least, that was what Leia taught her to do. In actual practice, the thoughts always remained, but the custom still made her feel a little better. “We just need a little time to cool off,” she finally replied after a few moments. “I— He never told me he was going to rescue you. He just left in the night so I wouldn’t worry about him.” She drew up her legs onto the rock to rest her chin, which muffled her voice, but not her bitter tone. “As if that could ever work.”

“But he came back.”

“I know that,” Rey muttered. “He did it, he brought you back home to the Resistance, but I still can’t help but be mad at him for pulling that on me.” Lifting her head to turn her gaze back to Rose, she continued, “For those few hours, I just— I thought I would lose both of you. That I would never see him again with no way I could rescue him or heal him. For those few hours, I thought he would never come back. Like my parents.”

“Oh, Rey…” Rose pulled her forward into a tight hug. “I know you’re upset, but Ben did save my life on that Star Destroyer. Don’t be too harsh on him.”

Rey felt Rose tense against her shoulder after the last sentence, and nudged the technician away softly. Sure enough, Rose had her eyes closed, her breathing laboured and her fingers interlaced in a tight clasp. “Rose?” Rey nudged her friend carefully. “What happened?”

Rose bit her upper lip, hunching over herself. “When Ben went to rescue me on the Star Destroyer, he— we met the new Supreme Leader. General Hux. Or Supreme Leader Hux. Whatever he calls himself now.”

Despite the older woman’s attempt at humour, Rey recognised fear when she heard it. She had never met the famed Starkiller himself, but Finn had once recounted a time when he and Rose had met General Hux, before the Battle of Crait. Rose often refused to talk about it herself. The fact that he was Supreme Leader now also worried Rey, but she pushed that thought aside. Rose’s wellbeing came first.

“He recognised me from the last time we met,” Rose continued, her clasped fingers fidgeting and twirling the edges of her shawl. “I know Finn told you about it; I bit him on the finger once. The moment he saw my picture in the recruitment forms he recognised me and had me captured — that’s why I missed the transmission to the Resistance. He was going to set a trap for you and the Resistance and it almost worked on Ben, but he was so fixated on him that he forgot about me and I knocked him unconscious.”

Rose fell silent again, but her laboured breathing became more frequent in the interim. Rey matched her friend’s silence and allowed her to continue. 

“Hux used a dagger on Ben, and when I knocked him out I grabbed it off the floor, and I nearly drove it into his throat. Ben stopped me just before I could.” Rose was fully shivering now, hands unclasped to pull the shawl tightly over her shoulders. “It’s… it’s a terrifying thought now that I look back at it. I don’t understand why the thought of killing him came so easily to me in that moment.”

“He killed trillions of people in an entire system, Rose,” Rey pointed out with a quiet tone. “Even I wanted to kill Ben before he turned back to the Light.”

“You don’t get it, Rey,” Rose sighed, shaking her head and dropping it into her palms for a few seconds. “The thought of killing someone with my own hands scares me. It still does — It’s why Paige was the bomber pilot and I was just the mechanic — but in that moment all I could think of was my parents, my friends, my sister. The man at the helm of all that destruction was right there and for those few seconds all I could think of was revenge.”

Rey kept her silence; she wasn’t sure how to respond to that. She had many fears, but she had never thought much about killing. She couldn’t, really — for most of her life and throughout the war she had been whisked into it was her or them. Rose was different; she was a fighter but never a soldier. Rey could not imagine the usually bright and cheerful Rose slitting someone’s throat with cold precision or boundless rage. She admired that nature in Rose, that drive to always look for the good in people and never simply draw the curtain on someone’s fate no matter how bitterly she felt about that person.

The more Rey thought about it the more confused she became about Rose’s confession. Rose was right; what she almost did didn’t sound like her in the slightest, even if the near-victim in question happened to be the most despised man alive in the galaxy aside from Kylo Ren.

A quiet sigh brought Rey out of her melancholy, and the Jedi looked back towards her friend. Rose’s back was hunched, her shawl wrapped tightly around her as she shivered against the evening cold. Rey had barely registered that it was evening; only the dimmest of the sun’s light remained in the dark grey sky.

“You need to get back inside, Rose,” Rey insisted, hauling herself up to her feet and offering her hand to her friend. “You’ve had a very long and exhausting few days on that First Order ship — You need some rest before anything else.”

Rose gave the slightest of nods, accepting the offered hand while holding her shawl in place with the other. “I know I should,” she said, her weary voice now down to almost a whisper, “but I couldn’t just leave the matter alone. You and Ben are together — It’s not right that I become the reason you two argue.”

Ben. Now that she was much calmer, Rey sorely missed his reassuring voice. As she brought Rose back into the base, more and more thoughts of her other half gathered in her mind. He would certainly have had something comforting to say to Rose in her moment of distress. He was kinder in spirit, more understanding…

Force above, what had she just cast away?

———————————————————————————————

Ben gripped his lightsaber with a white-knuckled grip as he stared at his feet, avoiding the sight of the charred carnage around him. Singed edges smoked where tall grasses had once stood, and the trees framing the tiny clearing bore vicious slashes with embers still flickering within. He cast a soft apology to the forest before extinguishing his lightsaber, dropping into the cross-legged posture of meditation.

Despite the damage he had wrought upon the trees around him, the Force surrounding it had hardly been disrupted. It surrounded him as it always did, soft ethereal winds its choice of manifestation to him in his distressed, chaotic mind. 

In his time with Snoke, ever since the destruction of Luke’s Jedi temple, the Force showed itself to him as raging flames and furious lightning, mirroring his rage and darkness. Sometimes they were accompanied by screams, high-pitched and deafening, when his anger was at its peak. It was always when he could no longer stand them that he lashed out into the darkness, opening his eyes moments later to sparking circuits and melted walls. Only once in all that time had he felt this wind in their place: the moment his father physically touched his face for the final time, a year ago.

How poetic it was that the winds returned for good when his father touched the same cheek again, in his memory on Kef Bir. How the winds guided him to flow through the cracks in the Knights’ attacks, how it allowed him to fly through the air and guided him to Rey to face the man who had brought down the fire and lightning and screams upon him in the first place.

Yet it could not help him now, while the screams were yet to fully fade, lingering in the back of his mind. His anger towards Palpatine, towards his vision and towards himself.

A different sound pierced through the screams, softer at first, then louder, becoming a beacon. It took Ben until the fourth cry that he realised that it was a long, drawling growl. One in a tone he recognised immediately.

Ben whirled around towards the call, legs unfolding into a wary crouch. 

There, at the end of the clearing, stood Chewbacca, growling in his Shyriiwook call that was definitely directed at Ben for the fifth time. Ben stood up, and approached him cautiously; the last time he had seen Chewbacca, the towering Wookiee had been in chains while he was still Kylo Ren hoping to lure Rey up to the Steadfast.

Ben had only made two steps when Chewbacca roared, lumbering forward to envelop him in a giant hug. 

Ben tensed, expecting the large, furry arms wrapped around him to tighten and crush his bones. Instead, Chewbacca started growling and rumbling in rapid Shyriiwook. Ben did not even need to translate his growls, as a Solo whose native language was just as much Shyriiwook as it was Galactic Basic: Chewbacca was welcoming him home.

“I don’t— Why would you welcome me?” Ben choked out, tears pooling in the corners of his eyes and blurring his vision. “I killed Dad — your best friend. You shot me once, you should be finishing the job—”

Another series of growls interrupted him.

_ I know Han is gone, but my best friend is still here. My best friend is finally home. _

For a moment, Ben tried to decipher the meaning of the Wookiee’s words. Then it dawned on him, the realisation accompanied by a steady stream of tears as the hole left behind by his father tore open again.

Chewbacca tightened the hug, which Ben now returned. The Wookiee let out a bark of laughter when Ben’s long arms encircled his entire torso.

_ You couldn’t even do that before,  _ he growled. _ Little Starfighter is not so little anymore. _

Little Starfighter. Ben had not heard that nickname in — Force, it must have been decades now. He chuckled through his tears, and growled back in Shyriiwook, his voice so much deeper now and capable of the growling tones he could never imitate as a young boy.

_ I’m home, Uncle Chewie. _

———————————————————————————————

Entering the Millennium Falcon’s main hold felt like reuniting with a long lost friend. It was, in a way — the Falcon had been his second home from the moment he was born. Perhaps even his first, given how often his father had brought him on his adventures, and how often Ben had stowed away on a few of his own as a child.

There was that vent pipe in the corner, still slightly dented from when he had Force-projected his toy balls to break free from it on one such mission. He smiled at the memory; he had snuck into the storage hold and tried to pilot the Falcon by himself while Chewie and his father were asleep. He’d nearly flown the freighter out of the hyperspace lane then, which prompted the two adults to tie him to that pipe.

Something glinted in the corner of his eyes from the dejarik table a few steps away, and Ben moved closer to investigate. His hands wrapped around the two golden dice connected by a single chain, squeezing them as if they might disappear again, that they were another Force projection like the ones on Crait. They did not disappear this time, and Ben traced the intricate carvings with one finger. His father’s dice, his favourite plaything as a child. Now it was one of the few things left of the man. 

Ben closed his fingers around the dice, bringing it to his heart for a brief moment, before he left the hold for the cockpit.

Ben’s heart had felt constricted long before he had even stepped foot on the Falcon’s ramp, but the feeling returned tenfold as he entered its cockpit for the first time since he’d left to train at Luke’s Jedi temple. Chewie had left him at the hold for the cockpit earlier, now checking a few panels from the co-pilot’s seat. The pilot’s was empty, but Ben could easily picture his father grinning back at him from the seat.

He approached the front of the cockpit, long fingers tracing the ceiling for the hook on which he threaded the chain of the golden dice. The soft clicking of the two dice against each other alerted Chewie to his presence, the Wookiee pausing his checks to look at Ben.

_ The hyperdrive needs a fix, _ he growled softly.  _ Damn curly-haired boy broke it bad with his lightspeed skipping last month. _

Poe, Ben guessed, remembering Rey’s recounting of one time the cocky ace pilot-turned-General had returned to Ajan Kloss with the Falcon in flames and panels broken in several places. “What do you need me to do?” he asked Chewie.

_ Get the repair kit in the storage. Same place as always. Then meet me in the bay. _

Ben nodded, and made his way to the third hold, just between the cockpit hallway and the engineering bay. It was one of his favourite tasks as a child, collecting the repair kit for his father and Chewie, and his body remembered it still. He had even counted the steps it took: thirty steps from the cockpit to the hold.

Of course, he had been eight years old at the time. Now, his long strides covered that distance in only ten, and when he opened the door and looked at the third shelf from the bottom, he found the repair kit to be at his eye level. He took the light metal box, leaning over the pile of boxes he used to climb to obtain the same box. 

It was another ten of eight-year-old Ben’s and three of thirty-year-old Ben’s steps to the engineering bay, where Chewie was already crouched behind the hyperdrive system, inspecting the wiring under the service panel. Ben spotted the brighter sheen of newer metal welded to the old already on the machine; no doubt previous repairs made by the Wookiee. He approached Chewie, wordlessly handing over the repair kit while inspecting the hyperdrive himself for any problems.

_ Where’s Rey? She’s not with you? _

The rumbling Shyriiwook startled Ben from his analysis, and he paused to consider his answer. “I went off on my own to rescue Rose without telling Rey. She got angry at me for it.”

_ Han was like that too. Always going on the next adventure without telling his mate. Leia always got angry at him. _

A soft snort escaped Ben’s mouth at the statement. “Of course he did.”

_ He never avoided it. Her scolding. He always went straight back to his mate after we came back. Talked things out. You should do the same withyours. _

Heat shot up into Ben’s cheeks. “Wait, Rey is not—”

Chewie erupted into roaring laughter before Ben could even finish his sentence.  _ I’m over two hundred years old, Little Starfighter. I think I would know how mates look at each other by now. You have the same look Han had with Leia. _

Ben barely registered the last sentence as his thoughts trailed to Rey. Rey, his other half, his equal in the Force, his saviour, his light.

The love of his life here, now and forever in the Force.

The giant Wookiee stood up to his full height, patting Ben on the shoulder. 

_ I can finish off these repairs, _ he growled.  _ Go talk to Rey. _

Ben nodded, and dashed out of the engineering bay.

———————————————————————————————

Rose had fallen asleep the moment her head hit her pillow, leaving Rey to draw the blanket over her exhausted friend. As she turned to leave the room, she spotted an unmistakably large figure leaning against the doorway. “Ben.”

At the sound of his name, Ben started, shifting his weight back onto his feet as Rey approached him. “Rey,” he began, but was interrupted by Rey lifting a finger to her lips, gesturing towards the sleeping Rose with her other hand. She nudged Ben out of the room.

“Can we head back to your quarters?” Ben asked the moment Rey had shut the pneumatic door behind her. “I need to talk things out with you.”

“So do I, Ben,” she answered, and they left Rose to have her rest.

BD-1 hopped back up to its feet from its resting position the moment it spotted Rey and Ben clambering up the rocks to the makeshift workshop and quarters. It beeped rapidly at Rey, ending its trill with a worried whine.

“I’m alright, BD,” she assured, “but Ben and I have to talk for a while. Maybe you can spend time with BB-8 and the other droids in the meantime?”

The exploration droid gave two affirmative beeps, then activated its miniature jet thrusters to propel itself towards the droid bay.

“Rey, about what happened earlier,” Ben said the moment Rey turned her attention back to him, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you by going off alone without telling you, and I didn’t mean to remind you of—” he faltered, his hands snapping into closed fists “— of him.”

“I’m sorry too, Ben.” Rey grasped Ben’s hand in hers, slowly uncurling the clenched fingers one by one. “I shouldn’t have exploded at you the way I did. You’ve spent your entire life hearing him in your head — something was bound to remind you of him someday. It just — It just hurt me that I happened to be the trigger because I got angry at you, because I’m his granddaughter.”

Ben’s eyes narrowed, his expression becoming stern as he twisted his hand to firmly grab hers. “Listen to me, Rey. You might share his blood, but you will never be the evil that he was,” he stressed, his gaze locked firmly on hers. “Believe me, you can never choose who you are born to — but you can choose who your family is from that point onward.”

Rey curled up the corners of her lips, leaning forward to touch her forehead to his. “Then I’m glad I chose you.”

Ben chuckled at that, his forehead rubbing against Rey’s with the vibrations, which caused Rey to join him. Chuckling soon turned to laughter, leaving both of them seated on Rey’s thin air mattress with their backs against the cave wall for support. Somewhere in the midst of their laughter, they had unconsciously reopened the bond between them, the Force singing in joyful unison.

Ben’s smile was the first to fade, a prickle of worry small but clear over the waning song. “I didn’t just meet Rose on that mission. The new Supreme Leader, he’s—”

“General Hux,” Rey finished for him. “Rose told me. You were right back then in that meeting after Coruscant.”

Ben nodded. “It was the most logical choice, I suppose. Hate towards me aside, he was a capable general, and a cunning man. But that wasn’t what I was going to talk about.” He drew up the blankets at his feet up to his knees. “When I found Rose, she had already been caught by Hux. He attacked me and he was so fixated on me that Rose managed to knock him unconscious. I had to stop her from taking his dagger and killing him right there and then.”

Ben’s brow furrowed as he continued. “I need to know this, Rey — is Rose Force-sensitive?”

The question threw Rey for a loop, its timing sudden and unexpected. “No. She isn’t.”

“Has she met Hux before? Anything that might make her especially angry at him?”

“Finn told me they had met before — Hux nearly executed them — and the First Order destroyed her home planet, Hays Minor. She and her sister Paige had escaped, but her parents died in the bombings. Paige died during the evacuation of D’Qar — she was in one of the Resistance bombers,” Rey explained. “But Rose isn’t the sort of person who chases after revenge. She told me earlier that the thought of killing someone herself scares her — she was still shaken up about it after you brought her back. She’s not sure what came over her on that Star Destroyer.”

Rey thought back to Ben’s first question. “What made you think Rose was Force-sensitive?”

“When she was about to kill Hux, I felt her Force signature spike. That sort of thing rarely happens in people who aren’t Force-sensitive, and none of them to the degree Rose had — it was pulsing erratically from her small light in large waves.” Ben bunched up the fabric of the blanket in his hands and squeezed it. “Palpatine manipulated me through my mind. What if there’s another Sith in the First Order who can do the same thing?”

Rey considered the thought for a moment, but her exhaustion won in the end. “I think we’ve had too much to worry about today,” she declared quietly, leaning her head against Ben’s firm shoulder. “Right now I just want us to rest. You and me. Together.”

“Alright,” Ben relented after a few seconds. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

The last thing Rey registered as she fell asleep was the warmth of her blanket as Ben wrapped it around them.


End file.
